


Unmasking Stiles Stilinski

by Akinasky



Series: SterekBingo 2019 [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant through Season 6B, Derek Hale is Good at Feelings, M/M, Masquerade, Sterek Bingo, Sterek Bingo 2019, Stiles Likes Masks, Stiles Stilinski Is Bad at Feelings, Stiles has Past One Night Stands, Werewolf Sheriff Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:18:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akinasky/pseuds/Akinasky
Summary: Stiles loves wearing a mask and when he left Beacon Hills, he found a way to hide who he was until Derek Hale found him.Then he goes home and finds out his dad needs them both.





	1. Losing Oneself

**Author's Note:**

> One of the few prompts that is actually going to be a multi chapter fic so its going to be complete before the end of the month.

The first time Stiles wore a mask, he was going out on Halloween as Robin and Scott was Batman, this was of course an affront to nature and if it hadn’t been for the wheezing of Scott’s lung capacity, he would have stolen the costume right off his friend’s back but he didn’t and he deserved a medal for not doing it. Scott was kind of a lousy Batman anyway. Stiles was born for the role but Robin would just have to do for that night.

It wasn’t the last time he wore a mask for Halloween but the first time it wasn’t on the 31st of October was the moment when Stiles wondered if he really could be a superhero.

Or at least be _not_ Stiles Stilinski the spastic son of the Sheriff with the dead mother stories and the spastic nature and loud mouth.

Stiles had gone to a Masquerade Dance with Heather at her school, she’d desperately needed a date and he may not have been in “Lydia Love” with her, but she was an awesome part of Stiles’s early life so he said yes, dressed in a suit and put a mask on his face. No one at the school knew who he was and they were intrigued by him, they didn’t know the spazzing Stiles that he was, they didn’t know the tragic backstory or how his best friend was always shoving him aside for the newest girlfriend that came into his life. They didn’t know he was the ‘poor kid’ who lost his mother when he was eight years old.

Everything was good, because he was just someone else.

Heather ditched him at some point to make out with her crush and Stiles didn’t worry about it when two guys and three different girls asked him to dance, so he did. Unlike Beacon Hills, no one seemed to care how close the dancers were to each other and Stiles realized that he was bisexual and it was amazing. Not the bisexual thing, though that was good too but not being Stiles.

His dance partners didn’t make fun of his amazingly awkward dance moves and one of the girls and one of the boys asked for his phone number which he gave them but didn’t really expect anything out of it because he would have to see them the next time without the mask. He wasn’t going to be this stranger behind the mask.

Then he went back to his life as Stiles Stilinksi, spastic best friend to the Teen Wolf Scott McCall and the stalker of Lydia Martin and the son of Sheriff Noah Stilinski.

He wanted to be someone else, again.

The desire continued and because Beacon Hills High School sucked beyond the telling of it, they rarely had dances and they never had a masquerade, sure there was the Halloween dance but Coach made everyone remove their masks upon entering the gymnasium and agreed to give them back when they were leaving, plus with or without a mask _everyone knew Stiles_ at Beacon Hills. There was no getting away from that lifelong knowledge of each other.

All he could do was keep in touch with Heather and start making friends with people in other schools around the area, just hoping he might have another chance to go to a dance and just be someone else.

That continued through everything supernatural, in fact the desire to be someone else just became stronger as they survived conflict after conflict and then without even really telling anyone, Stiles accepted early admission to Columbia and left after a prolonged goodbye with his dad who was equal parts happy and sad that Stiles was leaving Beacon Hills and a truncated goodbye to the rest of the crew and since Scott was sleeping with Malia they barely made eye contact with him let alone worried about saying goodbye. Stiles broke it off with Lydia before he left and she understood, they were going to be separated and she didn’t really believe in long distance anyway, neither of them were really wanting to fight for the relationship that was too little too late.

Stiles just didn’t want to find out later that she cheated on him, they were better as friends anyway, he was surprisingly okay with that.

He packed a bag and a backpack and made his dad promise to come and see him soon and he left town without looking back. The only person who could have possibly made him second guess his decision wasn’t there anymore either.

Derek left town right after everything with the fear monster. He wasn’t going to stay someplace where his worst fears keep coming back to fuck him over again and again. Which hadn’t just been whatever he saw, fucking Kate had come back and was making him miserable because she’s good at that. Stiles hoped someone murdered her horribly.

Stiles didn’t really blame the guy whatsoever but it also made Stiles’s decision to leave Beacon Hills a little bit easier. He hated the idea of leaving his Dad but the Sheriff had been making noise about retiring soon so maybe he could get them both out of the Beacon Hills Hellmouth.

For now, though he was going to get himself out.

And the best part about being in New York, the parties.

He had a fake ID and no desire to get wasted and though he frequently went out with his roommate on the weekends, there were a couple of clubs that catered to what he really wanted: to wear a mask and be as anonymous as possible and he only went out to those places when he started and ended the evening alone.

His favorite was this really small basement dancing bar that was called _Twisted Raven_.

Upstairs there was a bar and places to listen to bands or poetry slams or something in the evening before the dancing started. And every other Saturday, they had a Masquerade. It was beautiful in its consistency. It was mostly geared towards people in military or government positions who required anonymity for their naughty ways but a lot of college students and other people went there who just enjoyed the ambience and the community. Some wore masks and some didn’t, even on the Phantom Saturday as it was referred to as an homage to _Phantom of the Opera_.

Stiles wore a mask every time he went there, and never the same one two times in a row. And never told his college bros where he was going, they frequented other bars and clubs most of the time so it wasn’t that hard to give them the slip, especially when they seemed to be majoring in drunk sports and getting shot down by girls.

When Stiles slid that mask on his face, closing his eyes as it settled on his face, it was a release. He took a deep breath every time and it felt freer than anything else in his life and he _lived for it_.

And it wasn’t about screwing around or getting laid, ever since he left Beacon Hills and stopped thinking about Lydia and Malia as ex-girlfriends and started thinking of them as friends, he was better off. Lydia and Stiles talked all the time, about school and college and everything while Malia didn’t need a man, she needed freedom. Just like him.

Stiles dated and had sex, with young women and men; he didn’t really have a preference these days though he did find plenty of enjoyment for the true no-strings-attached kind of sex men were more than a little willing to give but he rarely hooked up when he went to Phantom Saturday at the Twisted Raven unless he agreed to meet with a booty call.

Then things changed

Twisted Raven was putting on a Halloween party and it was going to be a costume party which Stiles wasn’t going to miss. When his friends asked him what his plan was for the evening, he told them.

“Twisted Raven? Isn’t that the masquerade place you like to go to?” Charlie, his roommate and college bud asked Charlie was super normal and though he loved going out with Stiles, their friendship was mostly of the surface acquaintance friendship, Stiles couldn’t imagine being a bro like he was with Scott.

Stiles nodded, “Yeah, they are hosting a Halloween party, I am planning on going all out on my costume. Maybe something suave to go with the mask I already have or I could go as any number of super heroes.”

“Why do you dig the mask scene anyway?” Charlie asked because he was curious, something that Stiles could respect.

“I love not being me,” Stiles said for the thousandth time.

“But you’re awesome, what’s the point of hiding behind a mask when people who know you like you.”

Stiles snorted, Charlie’s acceptance of him was at best a polite side step because Charlie didn’t really know him. Scott and Lydia and Malia and his dad knew him and look at all of those relationships. His dad loved him and accepted him but in the time after his wife’s death, Stiles hadn’t been enough to keep him from a bottle and it hadn’t been enough to keep Stiles from lying to his father for years before the supernatural ever entered their lives.

Stiles apparently wasn’t enough of a friend to matter when Scott met Allison, or Kira or Malia or any other girl in the future. They had talked every couple weeks on Skype but it wasn’t enough, not after everything that happened.

Lydia was better off with someone else, anyone else she wouldn’t have led on for years and then acted on ‘love’ right before she would never have to see him. Stiles figured it out, it wasn’t hard.

And Malia, Stiles regretted that relationship more than any other, she was basically a traumatized child when he slept with her and anything after that seemed like a desperate attempt to make believe they were good and loving instead of clinging to each other like limpets.

“Whether or not that’s true, I still like to hide behind the mask, even for a little while.”

Charlie shrugged and walked away. Stiles went back to his costume. What he really wanted was to find a new mask and a new face to present but since the party was in a week, he didn’t have that kind of time.

Stiles ordered a couple of things and when they arrived with the help of next day shipping, he soon was standing in front of his mirror in black skinny jeans and a pair and black shoes. The shirt was pressed and a light blue with a black vest over it. The mask he wore was black with a blue trim around the outside and the edge of the eye slits. It was simple but Stiles was happy with the resulting visual. Add that to the slightly styled hair, light green contacts and cologne that he only ever wore to the club, he no longer felt like Stiles, smelled like Stiles or looked like him.

When he arrived at the club, Stiles flashed his ID and walked in, they knew him there and he never had any problems getting in. He immediately went downstairs, barely pausing to grab a bottle of water, unlike most clubs Twisted Raven made sure that their patrons stayed hydrated at no extra charge. Stiles moved to the edge of the dance floor and looked around at the masked people. He didn’t recognize a lot of the masks; it was probable that because this was a Halloween event rather than the normal Phantom Saturday party so a lot of the regulars may not have been there. Stiles had no intention of calling one of his booty calls tonight, this was just about dancing and being someone else.

After he guzzled down his water, Stiles dropped it in a nearby bin and wandered into the rush of the bodies and started dancing. He closed his eyes and let the music take him away.

Some people came close, others danced with him for a song or two but like any other night, he pushed them away if they got to close or to invested. Everyone took it in stride and would move on to the next person. The open bar probably helped.

Then someone came up behind him and wrapped their arms around him and Stiles, before he even made a conscious decision, melted into the almost familiar embrace and danced. Three songs later Stiles tried to turn around, if he was going to add a new booty call to his list which was an unprecedented event at this club, they were going to have to face each other at some point but the person held him fast and strong.

Stronger than he’d felt in a long time.

Stronger than was humanly possible.

Stiles reached subtly into the side pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small sachet of wolfsbane powder and flicked it open but then the werewolf grabbed his wrist and held him immobile. The man leaned down and whispered into Stiles’s ear, “I do not deserve a purple dust facial. You can’t trick me with these clothes and the cologne, Stiles.”

He pulled away and turned around, surprised when recognition struck at the same time as he was released.

“Derek?” Stiles whispered as he turned around.

The werewolf was dressed in a freaking suit, wearing a simple black mask and he looked good. Like ‘I’m gonna lick you all over’ good. Stiles stared for a moment then ran. Like a coward because he was one. He didn’t understand what the point of that encounter was. Why was Derek here? Why was he in the club? Why was he dressed and masked the way he was? Derek wasn’t a fun guy; he wasn’t a Halloween kind of guy or a mask kind of guy. And the last time Stiles checked, he was as straight as a board.

It was more than possible that Derek had been fun or flirty before the fire, Stiles wouldn’t know one way or the other but in all the time Stiles had known the werewolf, he didn’t have the kind of humor or lively nature that Halloween was known for.

Stiles ended up back at his dorm before he finally turned around enough to realize he wasn’t being followed and ditched his clothes on the floor and flopped into bed to sleep. Maybe he’d wake up to find he’d hallucinated the whole thing.

Not that he’d been drinking or taking any sort of hallucinogenic drug.

 _Shut up brain,_ he thought because seriously some kind of denial was the way to go here. He didn’t have time or the inclination to revisit his completely ridiculous crush on Beacon Hill’s Sourest Werewolf.

Only he couldn’t go to sleep, Stiles preceded to lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking about rubbing up against a very fit and very interested Derek Hale. He didn’t think that was a roll of coins in Derek’s pocket and even though he’d been salivating at the thought of this ‘nameless’ guy being in his ‘little black book’ and getting a chance to enjoy everything about that fit body and the way he smelled and everything.

Realizing it was Derek just made him feel like a sucker, sure he’d had a mildly embarrassing life-changing crush on the guy but that didn’t mean that he wanted to be the butt of his joke. Sure, he would die happily to do something with the guy’s butt or his dick but that was it. It was a dream, a sweet little idea that Stiles kept in his spank bank for the times that he needed to come fast and hard but other than that. It was nothing.

He didn’t know what Derek was doing in New York but hopefully he wasn’t going to start frequenting the bar, because that was Stiles’s place to be no one.

Exactly what he needed to be.


	2. Everything is Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles tries to go back to the Twisted Raven and has another run in with Derek.

**Chapter Two: Everything is Different**

Stiles gave it two weeks before he returned to Twisted Raven, donning his mask and returning to his normal routine. The only reason he didn’t wait longer was because he _needed_ the anonymity like a drug. After a life of being known as the Sheriff’s son and the son of a woman who died. Not to mention being the guy who killed a bunch of people when he was being controlled by the Nogitsune, all of that and more made him infamous not only in mundane circles but also supernatural circles which was more wide spread than he could have imagined before he moved out of Beacon Hills.

He had been more than a little surprised when the other hunters didn’t come after him, Argent must have spun some pretty sweet lies about what happened because hunters were not known to ask questions before they killed supernatural threats.

Here, Stiles wasn’t the son of a dead woman or the best friend to the True Alpha. He was just some guy. Some guy that people liked to dance with and fuck sometimes.

Looking around when he arrived at the club, he didn’t see anyone who looked like Derek, those shoulders were hard to forget. It looked like the normal crowd so Stiles took a deep breath, ordered a shot and downed it. His fake ID was _good_. With a slight buzz at the edge of his mind and rumbling in his stomach, Stiles took to the dance floor and let himself be taken by the sounds and the gyrating rhythm of the people around him.

A couple songs passed and he loosened up enough to stop looking around every couple of verses when someone walked over and pressed a hand to his shoulder and slid their fingers down to Stiles’s fingers and started tugging. Stiles frowned and turned towards the person and jerked his hand away.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded of Derek who was there, looking edible in leather pants, a black wife-beater with a white button up shirt over it which was half unbuttoned. And there was that mask again.

“Stiles, can we go somewhere and talk?”

“No,” Stiles snarled and walked away, towards the bar to get another drink. The sight of Derek killed his buzz hella fast and he needed the liquid courage that alcohol would give him, especially if his sanctuary was going to be forever fucked by Derek’s sudden reappearance in his life. Stiles ordered another shot and paid, drinking it quickly before he took a deep breath and shifted towards where Derek was standing next to him while other people waiting to get drinks were giving him the stink eye for being in the way.

“Why are you here Derek?” Stiles finally asked.

Derek reached out and touched Stiles’s arm and gestured towards the exit and Stiles shrugged and they walked away from the bar and out into the clear night air and the music became muffled as soon as the door closed behind them. It probably was a relief to Derek’s preternatural senses.

“Hey Stiles,” Derek responded with a shy smile as he took off the mask. Stiles ripped his mask off and shoved it in his pocket as Derek spoke, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Fuck you Derek!” Stiles snapped and Derek raised one of those expressive brows though there was no other response. He didn’t look hurt or pissed off, he didn’t look like the old Derek. The one who was falling apart and dying inside. “What the hell are you doing here? I asked you before and I want an answer.”

“I wanted to see you,” Derek shoved his hands down like he was going to shove them into his pockets then belatedly realized that he didn’t have pockets and let them just flop to his side. “I thought that if I found you when you were dancing or something, maybe we could just pretend like we were strangers and I wanted to dance with you and you seemed like you were having a good time.”

Stiles frowned, “You wanted to see me? Dance with me? Why? I thought you were off saving the world with Braeden or whatever!” Stiles gestured manically like he was pointing at the Bounty Hunter who apparently wasn’t with Derek anymore? The idiot though Stiles didn’t know which one he was calling an idiot.

Derek took a deep breath, “We were good together but we figured out pretty quickly that we wanted different things. Being with someone when you want different things kind of sucks.”

“You don’t say!” Stiles snarked.

Derek huffed, “Look, can we just go get a drink and maybe start over?”

“NO!” Stiles snapped, “You fucked this place up for me and that pisses me off. Now I am going to have to find a new place and Masquerade events are hard to find. The Twisted Raven was a lucky find for me and now you fucked it up.”

“How did I fuck it up?” Derek asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“By knowing me, by saying my name. The whole point of this,” he dragged the mask out and gestured sharply with it, “Is to be invisible and to not be _me!_ I don’t want to be Stiles!”

“Why not?” Derek asked, interested and completely unfazed by Stiles yelling at him. Still. What the hell was wrong with him? Was Derek a pod person now? How was he so calm?

Stiles snorted, “Weird, I would have thought Derek Hale would be the one person in the entire fucking _universe_ who would know what it was like _not wanting to be themselves_.”

Derek flinched and Stiles backed up a step. That was mean and Derek, no matter what he did, didn’t deserve to be hurt. Stiles had never been the one to want to add to Derek’s pain, he’d been the one fighting for the werewolf on more than one occasion and here he was; pointing out all the shit the guy had gone through with one little snappish retort.

Derek cleared his throat, “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

He turned and walked away and Stiles cursed, “Fucking idiot Stilinski!” He looked back at the bar and then turned back towards the dorm instead. After Derek’s second appearance in his life and his dance club, there was not enough booze in the bar or money in his account to buy all of it so he could actually enjoy dancing anymore tonight.

He would have to start looking for a new place, he didn’t think he was going to get lucky twice. The Twisted Raven did the masquerade thing because they were connected to a lot of BDSM culture as well as they were home to more than a few people who didn’t want to be known for their predilections outside the Raven. That was one of the promises The Raven gave its people, all it people, was anonymity and now his had been screwed up by one of the least likely Beacon Hills people.

For now though, Stiles pushed into his dorm room and stripped out of his uncomfortable club gear and flopped into bed. Too bad he wasn’t going to really have time to find a new place with the end of the semester just around the corner and a trip back to Beacon Hills to see his dad for Christmas. Maybe when he returned for the Spring semester people at the Twisted Raven wouldn’t care anymore about this ‘Stiles’ that some amazing Adonis was shouting about on the dance floor.

Maybe.

If he was lucky.

Stiles threw himself into his school work the next day and the next after that, ignoring the unknown calls and messages coming through on his phone. He didn’t really care how Derek got his number but he sure as hell wasn’t going to answer. He deleted the text messages without looking at them. He didn’t want to have anything to do with the Sourwolf right now. Maybe after the sting of losing his safe place wasn’t so painful. Finals without the scheduled therapy of the mask made it a little harder to get through with everything and Stiles is pretty sure he isn’t going to get all A’s this time because of it but at least he made it through the last couple of weeks.

Thanksgiving came and went without any ado whatsoever, barely a call with his father and now Stiles was pulling together all of his laundry and what he was taking home with him for his visit when there was a knock at the door.

Stiles rolled his eyes, “I know it’s awesome that we’re done guys but I have to get ready to go home!” he opened the door and swallowed whatever else he was going to tell his hall friends at the sight of Derek, standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey there, I was just stopping by again to see you before you left. I won’t be here when you get back next semester. I’m sorry again for what I did. I just wanted to show you that you are worth more than the nothing you so desperately want to be and deserve more than the one-night stands that you have chosen for yourself.”

“Why the hell would you care?” Stiles demanded, turning around to go back to his bed and leaving Derek to come all the way into the room or not.

He did follow Stiles into the room, much to Stiles’s pleasure and displeasure. He couldn’t figure out which one was stronger at the moment, the desire to find out what Derek was really doing here and the desire to ignore the past as he’d been doing ever since he left home.

“I know that this seems like a joke or something to you but its not. After I left, the only person that I couldn’t stop thinking about was you. Then when I saw you when the fear demon thing happened, it all come rushing back to the surface. The way I felt when I was around you.”

“Annoyed?” Stiles guessed with a snort.

Derek smiled and Stiles paused for a moment just to stare at him before he shook it off and went back to packing. Derek answered after a couple seconds, “Well yeah that but also, just your tenacity and strength, your intellect and again, this is going to seem weird but you look _really_ good Stiles.”

“You’re right,” Stiles started, “That’s really weird. When did you suddenly decide that you have a hard-on for the big ‘D’?”

Derek frowned at him in confusion and Stiles couldn’t help but laugh, “Dick, Derek, you know… cock, penis, wiener, boner, pecker.”

Derek flushed and waved his hands to get Stiles to stop which he did, because he was going to need to google other words for penis if he was planning to continue. “Look, okay, I get it.” he chuckled, “Thanks for that.”

Stiles nodded, “Sure. So when?”

“Oh,” Derek looked away, his cheeks staying that lightly flushed color that Stiles didn’t think that Derek was capable of having. To sour for anything as innocent as embarrassment. That was probably unkind and Stiles was just being a shit in his head. Derek had always been much like the rest of them despite being four years older.

Innocence stolen by humans and hunters long before he ever had a chance to be truly innocent.

“I didn’t really develop a ‘hard-on for the ‘D’ as you say, I don’t even really know what’s going to happen there. The only time I’ve had sex recently where my brain wasn’t being fucked with was with Braeden and though it was nice, it didn’t feel like anything I actually wanted. I wanted you, but I don’t know anything about that stuff.”

Stiles spun around and glared, “All that fronting was just that! At the club!” All of this _was a fucking joke!_ He was going to punch Derek, if it wasn’t for the fact that he could heal anything and Stiles would probably break his knuckles on that fucking beautiful face!

Derek held his hands out in placation, “No, well yes. I know that I want you and I hoped that since you were interested in men and women, maybe playing the confident Derek Hale would be enough. I wasn’t entirely honest but I swear I wasn’t making fun of you or anything. I’m just a little intimidated by you, the you now.”

Stiles slumped quickly back on the side of the bed, barely missing at that little nugget of truth, “Intimidated by 150 pounds of sarcasm and breakable bones?”

“No,” Derek snapped starting to get angry and it was more than a little comforting, that Stiles could still make him annoyed, “Intimidated because you know what you want and go and get it when you want it. If this is a thing, it can’t just be a one-night stand for me so maybe I went about this all wrong. I know I went about this all wrong but I hoped that you would consider my asking you out anyway.”

“You asked me out?” Stiles asked, knowing that Derek hadn’t _actually_ asked him out.

“Well I was getting to that.”

Stiles watched Derek and waited for a minute and thought, could he actually date anyone? His sexual history here was all about anonymity and a _lack of possible connection_ and if he went on a date with Derek Hale, it wasn’t going to be a one-night stand. It wasn’t going to be some stranger booty call in the dark to get off, it was going to include possible feelings and being vulnerable.

Fuck, that was _terrifying._

Derek cleared his throat to speak and Stiles held his hand out to stop him before he said something that he couldn’t take back and Stiles couldn’t stay yes to.

“Just go Derek, I have to get finished packing and get back to Beacon Hills. You know it’s going to be the Holiday break and I promised my dad that if I wasn’t going to come home any other time, I _had to_ come home for Christmas and New Year’s. I can understand you might think there is something you want here but it’s not for me. I don’t want anything except one-night stands so maybe you should just go.”

Derek frowned and his shoulders hunched inwards before nodded and backed away and towards the door. He pulled something out of his jeans pocket and dropped it on the table near the door, “Just in case you change your mind.”

When Derek was gone, Stiles walked over to the table and found a small scrap of paper with Derek’s name and a number scrawled on it. Stiles pulled out his phone and went to add a new contact, or at least update the old one and as he was entering in the area code and the number, he realized it _wasn’t the number_ that had been calling him ever since Derek and he had their second interaction at The Twisted Raven.

He frowned and went back to the number and pressed it to return call and brought it to his ear, it was probably just a crank caller but Derek hadn’t been acting like he’d been calling at all. Who else with an unlisted number would have been calling him that much.

No one picked up and after that the phone clicked over to an answering machine, “Beacon Hills General. If you are having an emergency please hang up and dial 9-1-1.” Stiles hung up after that and frowned again. He flipped through his contacts and pressed on the little phone next to his dad’s number and pressed the phone to his ear. It rang through to voicemail and Stiles started breathing faster and faster as he hung up and dialed Scott. He was still in Beacon Hills; he would know something right?

Scott picked up on the second ring, “Stiles, what’s up?”

“What’s going on with my dad?” he asked without preamble.

Scott gulped and laughed manically, “Well.”

“Well _what!?_ ” Stiles gritted out.

“Your dad had a little accident but it’s fine now and we figured we would get him through the worst of it then call you. You were coming home anyway. What’s the big deal?”

“The hospital was calling me, why?” Stiles snarled, thinking Derek would be pleased with the werewolf-like sound of it.

“He had a heart attack,” Scott started but Stiles didn’t let him continue.

“What the fuck Scott! Why didn’t you or Melissa call me directly?” I was in the midst of the last push of the semester and it was just an unknown number but if you or anyone I knew was calling, I would have goddamn-well picked up the fucking phone!”

“Stiles, it was really bad, he was hospitalized and Melissa and I talked about it and I Turned him, to save him. He got out of the hospital and then just ran off. He has no interest in being in the pack and apparently he works at the station and Parrish tells me that he’s doing okay but he won’t talk to me at all anymore.”

“He hasn’t been calling me, I didn’t really think anything of it though.”

Scott grunted for some reason and Stiles hung up the phone before his supposed best friend could say anything else. He finished shoving stuff into his suitcases and called the airport to see if they could get him on an earlier flight and he called a cab to get him there.

He needed to find out what was happening with his dad. On his way to the airport he fiddled with his phone until he opened up a new text message to Derek and tapped out a quick message;

 

_‘I just found out that Scott turned my DAD INTO A WEREWOLF without his consent and my dad has apparently run away from his life and I don’t know what I can possibly do to help.’_

_‘And FYI this is one of the many reasons I LOVE_ **NOT BEING** _STILES FUCKING STILINSKI!’_

 

He hit send and turned off his phone because he didn’t want to know what Derek might say to him about it. Stiles would have a five-hour flight to think about what the hell he was going to do if he couldn’t find his dad. What if it was like Scott, where being changed made his dad almost unrecognizable to the people who loved him. Including his best friend.

Stiles couldn’t lose his only parent; he couldn’t lose him to the same thing that cost him Scott.

When they finally loaded him onto the flight, Stiles allowed whatever on-board movie to calm him for the extent of the time he was in the air and actually fell asleep for the last half of the trip to the sound of the music on his MP3 player. When they touched down and he turned his phone back on, he left it in airplane mode for the short taxi trip back to his dad’s house and grabbed all his belongings before paying the guy and waving him off.

He let himself take a deep breath before he walked up to the front door and unlocked it quickly and brought all of his cases inside while he shouted, “Dad, I got an earlier flight. You here?”

Nothing.

Stiles took another deep breath and grabbed what he needed to take up to his room and did that, still hoping his dad was going to call out because he’d been taking a nap. Still nothing.

Stiles pulled out his phone and finally took it off airplane mode and found a couple of messages from Scott, something from Melissa too but there was one message from Derek that simply said,

 

_‘I can help him. It doesn’t have to be like Scott.’_

Derek is one of the few people that really seemed to understand the loss that Stiles experienced with Scott. He didn’t say anything about the other angry thing he sent and that was just fine. Stiles didn’t have anything else to add to that conversation killer at the moment. He didn’t really know if he could deal with Derek coming here and helping him or whatever but that was tomorrow’s problem at least.

First, he needed to find his dad.


	3. Home Something Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles arrives in Beacon Hills, determined to find his dad and figure out what the hell was going on.

After dropping everything off in his room, Stiles walked back downstairs and grabbed the keys for his jeep which was still parked out front and went out to start it up. Amazingly, after a moment sputtering it started up and he backed out and headed towards the station. He didn’t turn on the radio, letting the darkness and the silence soak into him, letting his eyes and ears take in the sights and sounds of Beacon Hills after almost a year away. He was going to find his dad, that was all there was to it and despite the fact that he hated being back in the chaos of Beacon Hills, it was weirdly comforting in its normalcy.

He pulled into the Sheriff’s station about fifteen minutes later and got out of the jeep, grabbing his keys and phone. Inside someone he didn’t recognize was at the front counter and he asked for the Sheriff. The young woman gave him a questioning look and Stiles gave one right back, “I’m his son, just back from college.”

She nodded and called back to the office and then waved him off. Stiles moved through the hall and into the open space of the bullpen, he’d always thought of it like that even though it wasn’t really the right word. Stiles moved through the desks and towards the office when Parrish stepped into his path.

“Stiles, welcome home! Hey, if you’re here to see your dad, he’s not in right now.”

Stiles crossed his arms, “Well you need to tell the girl at the front when he is hiding from his own damn son because she sent me back here to see him.”

Parrish looked around as a couple of the deputies looked over at them and laughed weakly trying to throw off their interest, he motioned to one of the other rooms and Stiles walked into it and Parrish closed the door behind them.

“You heard about what happened?” Parrish asked.

“That my dad had a heart attack and it was bad enough that Scott turned him, yes I found out yesterday.”

Parrish winced, “Yeah, he actually hasn’t been here enough to really be the Sheriff in anything but name. I have been covering for him, most of the deputies that are in on the ‘supernatural underbelly’ have been helping me with that. Then when he leaves here, he just disappears and we don’t see him for hours and days on end. I don’t know what to tell you Stiles, except that he’s thankfully still alive and I don’t know what else to say.”

Stiles took a deep breath, simmering with rage, “And you didn’t think you should call me yourself?”

“He didn’t want me to, he basically threatened to kill me and hide the body. I didn’t take it seriously but I didn’t want to push my luck. Plus, he’s my boss.”

“He’s my father!” Stiles snarled.

Parrish held a hand up, in either a halting motion or one of surrender but Stiles couldn’t tell which it was.

“I know he goes back to his house every once in a while, maybe if you stay there and wait to see him, you will. I don’t know what to tell you but I’m guessing that if anyone can get through to him and put him back on an even keel, that is going to be you.”

Stiles nodded and walked out of the room, then out of the precinct and got into the jeep wondering where the hell he could go next since he already knew Dad wasn’t back at the house. It didn’t seem like he’d been there for at least a day or two.

What the hell was he going to do? He leaned forward and bonked his forehead on the steering wheel a couple times before he cranked the key and started the jeep having made the decision of where to go even if it led to more nothing.

The drive to the edge of the Preserve was more familiar than Stiles would like to admit so he got to the place where he usually parked the jeep and locked it up. He walked along the trail and got close enough to the remains of the Hale house and Stiles frowned when he saw another house in the distance. Since when had anyone built on the Preserve?

Stiles thought Derek still owned the land but the house had been demolished, he didn’t really know enough about land ownership and whatnot to say but maybe if he was going to be searching for his dad, he could look all of that up. It had been ages since he’d looked up anything that wasn’t for school. Might be fun.

He was going to need a new hobby anyway since there wasn’t going to be any Masquerades in Beacon Hills for the next three weeks. He was going to have to fall back into some old coping mechanisms.

As Stiles got closer, he could hear someone talking and frowned as he walked around the foundation of the demoed house towards the new building and found Christopher Argent standing at the edge of the backyard, holding his hands out in submission, a strange look for the hunter if Stiles had seen any.

He walked closer, veering so he would come around the corner of the small building with space between himself and Argent but he would also be able to see what was there.

What was there was his father, Stiles sank to his knees in surprise at the visual of his dad hunched over and half shifted, looking mercilessly prepared to kill anyone. Including his own beloved son.

Dad’s gaze shifted towards Stiles when he made a little noise of distress, Stiles didn’t want to call it a whine but that was better than a whimper which is what it _actually sounded like._ Argent started moving the same time his dad did and Argent tossed out a handful of dust at Stiles’s dad (probably mountain ash or wolfsbane). When his dad snuffled and back away but didn’t start whining, Stiles figured it was Mountain Ash. He did what he’d always done when he was around werewolves and imagined the Mountain Ash into a circle around him and with a mystical snap of energy, the barrier surrounded both Stiles and Argent who whipped around to glare at Stiles, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Trying to find my father, who apparently is fucking feral and no one thought it would be a good idea to tell me. What the fuck are _you doing here_? Are you waiting for the chance to kill him?”

Argent glared at him some more but honestly after all the Alphas that growled and slashed at him, Christopher Argent was kind of a teddy bear. Compared to Argent’s wife, rest in peace Victoria Argent, Chris was a teddy bear.

“I have long since stopped being that person so I would appreciate it if you at least gave me the benefit of the doubt. I mean I traveled with Isaac for months.”

“And then dumped him somewhere,” Stiles snorted then looked over at his dad who was still hunched over and staring at them with gold eyes, “Why didn’t he accept Scott as his alpha? He shouldn’t have to do this alone.”

Chris shrugged and slumped his shoulders, “I don’t know but every time Scott tries to connect with Noah, he about gets his head bitten off. I am apparently the only one who has been able to come close more than once. Parrish has come around a couple times and depending on how close we are to the Full Moon, Noah has more or less mental acuity.”

“Parrish said he comes to the station and he goes home sometimes.”

Argent nodded, “Yeah, there is about three or four days right between full moons where he has been completely normal and maybe one or two days on either side of that where he kind of fakes it. Parrish and I and a few others are covering for him the rest of the time. I am officially a deputy, by the way,” Argent said and pulled out a shiny looking badge, like something from a toy shop it was so fucking shiny. It didn’t look anything like the one Dad had been carrying around with him for most of Stiles’s life.

“Is that real?” Stiles asked, just to be Stiles.

Argent tossed it down to him and Stiles looked it over, finding it most definitely real, he would look up Argent’s badge number as soon as he got back to the house and his laptop but he didn’t think he could prove it fake.

Stiles handed it back and asked, “What’s it like having to actually follow the rules? Not the fucked-up rules your family made up to allow murder, but the laws that my father upholds?”

Argent shrugged, “It’s fine really. I am currently in more of a consulting capacity about the ‘animal attacks’ this town is plagued with,” Argent rolled his eyes at that.

Stiles frowned, “Wait, how long have you been working for my dad and the department?”

“The last eight months or so, ever since all you kids split up and went your own ways, finally the adults are in charge again. A lot less drama, if you ask me.”

Stiles glared at him, for making it sound like it was somehow his fault that Argent had to get legit and law abiding. Instead of focusing on the hunter being a douche since that was kind of par for the course, “That might be why he’s letting you close to him, proximity and recognizability.”

“Is that a word?” Argent snarked.

Stiles shrugged, “Word says it is.”

Argent hummed, “Well that might very well be true, I think that we can get him through this but honestly as far as I have been taught from my hunting days and everything I have learned from Derek and Scott and the others, your dad needs an alpha.”

Stiles nodded and looked over at his dad who was hunched against the far edge of the house, shaking and rocking so hard Stiles didn’t understand how he wasn’t falling over. Then Stiles refocused on the house again, “Who’s place is this?”

Argent looked over at the little house as well, “It belongs to Hale, there are like four small buildings spread out on his property, for him whenever he visits and any wolves that need sanctuary. Though Derek didn’t come home to build them, just paid out the butt to get them done fast and well. So here they are. He said I could stay in this one since this is where Noah seems to feel the most comfortable when he is out of control like this. And you can’t stay here.”

Stiles glared, pissed that Argent guessed accurately what he was going to say, “This is my dad, Argent, and you can’t make me leave.”

“Do you want to see what happens to the man if he hurts you? Of all people, if he hurts you, there isn’t any going back. Until he recognizes you, I can’t let you stay here.”

Stiles sighed, “That’s fair. It would kill him,” he whispered and looked over at his dad again and whispered, “I’m coming back to see you Dad. Real soon.”

With that, he hopped the circle and walked away, only checking once to see that nothing was chasing him. He headed back to the jeep then went to his childhood home and dragged his laptop out and set up everything he would need to start looking into everything that happened and what was going on with his dad. He even dragged his crime board out of his bedroom so he would have more room in the living area. Not much more room but it was something. He didn’t really want to hole up in his room for this.

Stiles spent the next week looking up everything he possibly could about Chris Argent as a deputy (which he was, _dammit!_ ) and about his dad ending up in the hospital and why Scott thought that turning him would have been a good idea. And the rest of the time, he spent out in the Preserve with his dad staring at him with those gold eyes and Stiles couldn’t help but thank anything with the power that his dad’s eyes weren’t blue. Not that he thought poorly of Derek or Jackson (Peter, he thought poorly of but not because of the blue eyes, there were lots of reasons.) but because his dad having to kill someone or being made to because he couldn’t control himself, it would have changed him so much.

Stiles knew his dad well enough to worry that he might not have survived that kind of mistake.

On the sixth day of him going out the Preserve and taking all manner of food contraband to his dad somehow curly fries got through to him just a little.

Argent was leaning against the back of the house (he was always there when Stiles was there mostly because he was always there when Dad was there) while Stiles sat in his Mountain Ash circle and ate lunch with his dad and talked about school or something funny he found on the internet. Usually his dad just watched him with golden stare like he didn’t quite know what to think about chattering creature but that day something different happened.

He gorilla-walked over on his knuckles and sat down in front of Stiles, crossing his legs in front of him in a position that honestly Stiles didn’t think his father would have been capable of if he wasn’t a werewolf which would be healing his aches and pains before he felt them.

“Hey Daddio, I got some curly fries from that place that you love. I figured that you might like some. What do you think?”

Dad grunted a little and Stiles sighed heavily, put some of the fries on a plate and slid it over the barrier, making sure that his father couldn’t grab him.

Dad picked up a couple of the fries and shoved them in his mouth, chewing messily with one hanging out the corner of his mouth. Stiles smiled and watched as he was careful not to bite through his own lips with his werewolf sharp teeth. Stiles munched on a couple of the fries and started telling his dad about something he found on the internet the night before and then spent three hours trying to prove if it was actually accurate.

He was dishing up some more fries and shifting into a tangent about fries when Dad growled. Stiles stopped speaking and looked over at Argent who was standing at attention. Even with the barrier, Dad attacking him was going to bring this day to an abrupt end.

Then Dad growled against and there was an ‘S’ sound, it was distinct and not a part of the guttural sound. Stiles smiled, “Stiles. I’m Stiles, your son.”

“Sti-ssssss-rrrrrrrrr,” the word died on another snarl but it was enough. Stiles jumped up and fist pumped the air.

“You got this Dad, we are going to get you back! I promise.”

The rest of their lunch passed with Stiles happily telling Dad how awesome he was and he was going to bring the man a thousand orders of curly fries if he would just come back.

When he ran out of curly fries, Dad lost interest much to Stiles’ annoyance and Argent’s amusement so he packed up all his stuff and headed out, only looking back once to see his dad watching him leave with something of his human blue eyes instead of the gold.

“I’m getting you back Dad, I promise,” he whispered and left the Preserve.

 

This was definitely one of the dumber things he’d ever done. Definitely. Maybe it was worse than showing up at the Twisted Raven and sniffing out Stiles and dancing with him, he would just have to see what happened.

Derek drove into the city limits of Beacon Hills in the Camaro with a Porsche following close behind him because Jackson was a douche-canoe no matter how nice he was now. Ethan was in the passenger seat with Jackson and though they weren’t pleased about coming back here, they’d been in the area for something and had barely argued when Derek asked them to come.

“This isn’t going to go well,” Cora said from his passenger seat and Derek just nodded.

“Yeah but we all owe so much to Stiles and the Sheriff; we have to try.”

“Well yeah,” Derek could _hear_ Cora rolling her eyes, “I mean after you crashed and burned with your Stiles Crush at his campus, what are you doing driving across the nation to help? Was the first crash not enough? Need to crash again, just to prove it to yourself or something?”

Derek took a deep breath, taking comfort in the warm leather scent of the interior and the smell of his sister including the sarcasm in the air which had a bite but it wasn’t mean spirited like it used to be. “I love Stiles, I already told you and he reached out to me so I am going to go help.”

“Fucking disgusting, you know that right?” she snarled.

“What?” Derek grinned.

“How stupid you are for him. He’s going to fuck you over, you said it yourself that Stiles is basically a one-night stand kind of guy these days. Don’t let him do that to you. I am not cleaning up the pieces.”

“No one asked you to,” Derek chuckled, not letting her snarly mood break his hopeful one. Stiles texting him about Noah, that was something and it wasn’t something he was willing to ignore.

Cora humphed and they fell silent as the two cars followed the roads through town and into the Preserve, heading to the largest of the houses there on the property. It was the Pack House and it wasn’t the one currently housing Argent. If Noah had somehow latched onto the Pack House then Derek would’ve actually beat Stiles home. Noah would have been welcomed into the Pack House, but not Argent no matter how comforted Noah was by him.

They pulled onto the long-paved road that Derek paid extra for and headed straight towards the front of the house. The small house where Noah and Chris were at was off to the left as well as one other and then there were two other small cabins to the right of the main house.

If he needed to, Derek would build more but he didn’t know if he was going to stay in Beacon Hills permanently but the Hale land would still stand as it once did as a sanctuary for werewolves. He would make sure of it. It was the least he could do for his family.

For now he pulled out the ring of keys and passed one set over to Cora as they got out of the car and shut the doors. Jackson and Ethan were exiting the Porsche and looking up at the house. Jackson whistled, “Okay, I’m less pissed if we get to stay here.”

Derek snorted and passed a set of keys to Jackson and another set to Ethan. They both caught them easily, “Everyone get settled in, I have the master bedroom downstairs and there is another room off to the right of the master that will remain empty for now.”

“For the sheriff?” Cora asked, more used to how turned werewolves were with their alphas in a healthy pack.

Derek nodded and shooed them all inside the front door while he took off towards where the Sheriff and Argent were currently holed up. Cora and the others knew that this was going to be his priority, trying to get the man in control of the wolf was the first step for Noah so he could reclaim his life. The second step would be finding out what triggered his feral nature.

Just as the little cabin came into sight, he could smell the sharpness of the Sheriff’s scent. It was that of a broken man and an angry wolf, it was similar enough the Peter’s broken scent that it had Derek rearing back for a moment before he continued farther. Argent’s scent was all over the place and Stiles scent was there as well though it was slipping away like he’d recently left. Derek might be able to catch up with him but first things first: seeing Noah.

Derek walked around to the ‘back’ of the building and Noah was leaning against the wall of the cabin and on the other side was Argent, staring at Noah. Derek waved over at Argent who immediately started towards him like he was going to somehow protect Derek from Noah and then he stopped.

“I wondered when you might come here, seen as how he has decided to live on your property. Thanks for that, by the way. It’s hard seeing him like this but it would be so much harder if he was closer to town.”

Derek held his hand up to cut off whatever else the hunter was going to say, “I was glad he found this place, it’s far enough away from any of the camping locations and it’s Hale land. It’s the best place for him right now. But I’m not just here to check on my property.”

“Yeah, I heard you were stalking Stiles, did you follow him home?”

Derek meeped then snapped, “No, I didn’t stalk Stiles. I found him and you know what—that’s none of your business.”

Argent looked at him sharply and for a moment Derek had forgotten how intelligent the man was, “Huh.”

“Anyway, I’m here to pull Sheriff Stilinski’s humanness to the surface and figure out why he went feral to begin with.”

“Only an Alpha can do that,” Argent said rolling his eyes and Derek flashed his red eyes and the hunter stared with his mouth agape. Before the man had a chance to do or say anything else, Derek walked over to Noah and lifted him forcibly to stand up straight and looked into those gold eyes.

Derek shifted into his beta form and snarled in Noah’s face, “You are going to come back to yourself Noah Stilinski. You will come back to your town and your friends. You will come back to your son. Now!”

Noah tried to shake him off, growling loud enough to echo throughout the area and into Derek’s body but he just shook the man a little and repeated his demand. He said it enough that Noah slumped back against the siding of the building and Argent backed away and sat down on one of the lawn chairs that he had to have brought from somewhere because Derek didn’t recognize them from the decorators who he paid to furnish the cabins. There was about a thousand pictures in his phone of everything that went into them.

Derek said it enough that the sky started getting darker then he said again and kept saying it, “Noah, come back to your son. Come back to your son. Back to your son. To your son. Your son. Son! Stiles.”

The eyebrows returned first, then the fangs and the ears receded and the gold faded out of his eyes until finally Noah Stilinksi: the man was standing before him and Derek let him slide down to sit on the grass, flopping down in front of him and started seeping off some of the ache he was feeling in his bones and muscles. Noah was in a lot of pain and only some of it was physical.

What the hell happened to him?

“Sheriff?” Argent called out.

“Chris, hey man it’s me. Thank you, Derek,” he huffed and puffed out. He blinked a couple times, “Stiles is here? In town?”

Argent and Derek answered at the same time, “Yes.” Argent continued, “He came here to see you again this afternoon. Do you remember?”

Noah held his hand out and give the universal signal for so-so and Derek nodded, “Being feral can really screw with the memory. Why don’t we get you home and you can see Stiles? Really see him.”

Noah surprised both men by shaking his head, “No, I need to make sure that I am back first. Really make sure. Like ‘not going to go feral again and hurt him’ sure.”

Derek nodded, “Why don’t you come back to the Pack House, it’s about a two mile walk back that way and you can stay with Cora, Jackson and Ethan while I go see Stiles.” Argent snorted and Derek just talked over him, “To _EXPLAIN_ the situation. Let him know that you are doing better and we can get you cleaned up.”

Noah nodded and tried to push himself up then sank back to the ground, “I don’t think I could make it. I can just stay here.”

Derek shook his head, “Being with other wolves will help you, center you. Part of the reason why omegas are so dangerous sometimes is because they don’t have a pack to keep them from going feral. Just, maybe Argent can drive us there?”

Argent nodded and together, Hale and Argent working together – still weird and they all piled into the back of Argent’s SUV and with Derek directing Argent from the back, he let Noah press into his side and get comfortable with his scent. When Noah got enough sleep, he might be embarrassed about this but Derek would try to head it off, closeness in a pack and scent marking were all a part of the package and though he didn’t ask or consent to being turned; Noah was a werewolf now and Derek wanted to make sure that he would be able to survive and do well as one.

They made it to the Pack House and the three betas were already standing on the front porch by the time Argent came to a stop behind the Camaro. Before Argent could even open his door, Jackson and Ethan were there to help Derek get Noah out of the back seat and started bringing him inside the house while Noah mumbled incoherently. It was like being brought back to his human side just knocked him out.

“Take care of him you three, I am going to check on Stiles.”

“Uh huh,” they all responded with knowing smirks. He could hear the stupid smirks on their stupid smug smirking faces and Derek was going to put them through the wringer when they sparred the next day. Seriously. Stupid pups.

“Thanks again Argent,” Derek said and walked over to the Camaro.

“You know that I care about Noah and that’s why I’m here?” Argent asked though it sounded more like an accusation.

“I guess it rarely occurs to me that you care about anyone outside your family,” Derek replied then winced, realizing after the fact how mean that was. “Sorry, I know that after Allison, things changed for you but caring about Noah is not the same thing as showing kindness to a werewolf.”

“It was this time, I didn’t want my wife to kill herself, I didn’t want my sister to do what she did or my father to do the awful things that he did.”

“I know we have been on the same side more than once but Chris, you may not have liked what they did but _you didn’t stop them!_ And for a little longer I am going to be cautious with my betas and with Noah especially because he is trusting you. Argent, You can see him whenever you want but for now, maybe forever, it will not be inside this house. Let me get Noah back on his feet and through another moon with some control and he can go back home and you can see him wherever and whenever.”

Argent rolled his eyes and got back into the SUV and spun his wheels as he left, like the emotional toddler he was. Not that Derek had a leg to stand on, he’d only learned how to handle life a little better after he started seeing a counselor and started learning to let go of all the hurts and resentment and guilt of the past. It was only because of the clarity of counseling that he was able to admit how much he cared about Stiles and to seek him out.

Then he screwed that up, so now he was going to have to fix it. He got into the Camaro and sent a quick text to Stiles so he would not be completely blindsided again by Derek standing on his doorstep and headed over to the Stilinski residence.

Stiles sent back an emoji with like surprised super-open eyes and he chuckled as he pulled into the driveway behind the jeep and got out of the Camaro before taking a deep breath to center himself then walked up to the door and knocked.

Stiles rushed around behind the door and he heard the human say, “Get your shit together Stilinksi!” then the door flew open and Derek gave a halfhearted wave to Stiles’s greeting of, “Derek you’re in Beacon Hills!”

“Yeah, you told me what happened and I came back here to help you with your dad. I said I would.”

“No, you said you could, not that you were going to drop everything and follow me home like a stalker.”

Derek thought about that for a moment, “Yeah maybe. Anyway, did you want an update on your dad or not? I figured you might want it in person, if I’m wrong, I can go sit in the car and call you from the driveway?”

Stiles shook his head, “No, that’s ridiculous. Come in, just don’t mess up anything in the family room.”

Derek frowned as Stiles moved to let him into the house and he looked towards the living room to find Stiles’s murder board though there wasn’t anything about murder on there. The room was covered with strings and piles of paper strewn about in haphazard Stiles decor. Derek thought it looked more like chaos than anything but he headed towards the kitchen table instead of that way. Stiles followed him and started pacing in the small space while Derek sat down, “So I went to see your dad first, I wanted to see what was going on and it took hours but I brought him out of the feral nature.”

Stiles stopped and looked at Derek in shock and smelled a lot of hurt which Derek hated, “What?”

“I’m an alpha, I was able to use my alpha connection to bring him out of it, which has nothing to do with you and the relationship you have with your father.”

“Still cheating,” Stiles responded sourly.

Derek smiled a little, “Yes, but it was me choose to cheat a little or leave him in that nature for weeks on end. He was pretty deep in there. I hope you can forgive that.”

Stiles shrugged “So when’s he coming home? Why didn’t he come with you?”

“Because he didn’t want to find out the hard way that its temporary. I don’t think that it is but as soon as the Full Moon comes, we might be right back to where we were unless I work with him on whatever issue got him in that condition to begin with. Wolves don’t really go feral like that unless there were some internal stuff.”

“Like Jackson and the Kanima thing?”

Derek nodded, “Similar to that, yes. Jackson is here, as well as Ethan and Cora. Jackson will be able to connect with him a little better than the rest of his because of his Kanima nature but I think he just needs a pack to give him a strong foundation. I think it’s possible that seeing all the bad stuff that werewolves have been at fault for over the years may have freaked him out but I am not going to know for sure until I talk to him.”

“When can I see him?”

Derek smiled, “Let him get some sleep tonight and I will see if he’s up for a visit tomorrow if you promise to not lay into him about keeping this from you. I think you being angry with him right now, I don’t think it’s going to help, even though you have every right to be feeling that way. Maybe be angry with him later?”

Stiles rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up, “Ugh you suck! Did you really think I was going to lay into him the first chance I get?”

Derek raised one eyebrow and Stiles laughed a little, “Okay maybe you have a point. I promise not to be sucky towards my dad so he can get better but when the time comes, I at least need to tell him how stupid it was to keep me out of this completely.”

Derek nodded and settled for a second, “Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. I handled things badly. I have been working on a lot of this stuff with my counselor but I’m apparently still learning how to be a functioning social creature. Especially when it comes to someone I like.”

Stiles stared at him, mouth open and Derek waved his hand like ‘go ahead and say it’.

“You’re going to a counselor?”

Derek flushed, he hadn’t really wanted to blurt that out, “Yes.”

“How did you find one?” Stiles demanded excitedly as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over so he could sit across it in front of Derek, leaning forward in excitement.

“Ummm, well that’s a really complicated question but a couple of the packs that I stayed with off and on they work with counselors who are in the know. Some of them are human and others are werewolves or supernatural creatures but they all carry certifications of being psychologists and counselors though I guess they could be forged. It didn’t really matter, as long as they were able to help me. And they do, want to help. Not just me but anyone who needs some help and it means that those of us in the supernatural community can share everything we need to so we can get the help we need. Instead of being vague and using euphemisms.”

“Dude I need someone’s digits, like now.”

Derek frowned, “You want to see a counselor? Mr. Stiles I-am-going-to-ignore-the-problem-till-it-goes-away Stilinski?”

Stiles shrugged, “I would take offense to that but I have said that more than once in a short period of time, honestly, so I won’t. I think that what happened with you is a great example as to why my coping skills need some help not to mention the recent case of an STI.”

Derek frowned, why did he know that abbreviation?

“Sexual transmitted infection, it’s all cleared up now,” Stiles waved it off negligently, “I stopped seeing that guy and I started asking for test results every couple of months depending on the person but I’m aware that those things that I choose to do so I can feel better, some of them at least are unhealthy and dangerous.”

Derek snarled before he could stop himself, “Ya think!”

Stiles didn’t comment back about it, instead he scuffed his shoe on the floor, “I love being nobody,” he blurted out.

Derek frowned, “What?”

“You found me at a masquerade maybe you thought it was just a Halloween thing but it isn’t. It’s a thing that I’ve always really loved, being not Stiles. Once upon a time it was because I didn’t always want to be the Sheriff’s kid who was going to narc on people for doing anything, but I also didn’t always want to be the kid who lost his mother and see those faces. You know the ones, the sympathy and the pity and the fucking disbelief. Then the Scott and the werewolves’ stuff, then the Nogitsune and Donavan, it was all just too much so when I found this thing, ‘The Twisted Raven’ where I could dress up and be someone else for the evening, _I loved it._ You finding me there meant that I was no longer going to be anonymous especially because in complete ‘Stiles fashion’ I made a scene. Sure, they were willing to think it was just the holiday but then you came back and I did it again. Ugh.”

Derek turned that over in his mind, trying to see it from all the angles before he spoke. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, then finally spoke, “I already apologized for the way I handled things and if you want to speak to someone, I can get you my counselor’s name and number. She does mostly Skype and video sessions because her patients are all over the country though she does like meeting with people in person a couple times. But all that, you can speak to her or maybe one of her associates and its none of my business what you do with that information.”

Stiles nodded and stared at the ground. “I said some pretty shitty things when we were at the club and in my dorm room. I shouldn’t have blamed you for not knowing something that even my best friend doesn’t know about. Lydia kind of knows because she would sometimes help me pick outfits and we would talk about our sexual conquests but no one really knows me and I think that you think you care about me but you don’t. Because you don’t know who I am and it would be a cosmic joke to try to have anything but a friendship and maybe mutual trust. Especially because you didn’t answer before about when you started liking the ‘D’.”

Derek nodded then after a minute he shook his head, “Why don’t I save that story for our first date because I think your full of shit Stilinski but I will agree to table anything about dates or romantic outings until after we get your dad squared away.”

Stiles nodded, coughed a little and took a deep breath, “So you will let me know when I can come over and see my dad.”

Derek figured that was a polite dismissal so he stood and walked over to the door, “I’ll let you know.” He pulled the door open and looked around again, “Try to get some sleep huh? At some point you are going to go back to New York and your life there and killing yourself while you are home isn’t going to make any of this any easier.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, grinning, “What do you know about it?”

Derek smiled a little, “Trust me, I know plenty about killing myself over things that happen and I can’t change.”

Stiles nodded solemnly, “Fair point.”

Derek walked out without another word, letting the door close behind him and listened as Stiles moved back into the living room and started muttering about something he was researching. He would just have to be patient with Stiles, he’d waited a long time for a chance for a healthy relationship—a couple more days wouldn’t kill him.


	4. Stilinski Family Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets to see his dad and gets to meet up with the pack again.

Stiles stood outside in front of the Hale Pack House and took a deep breath before he raised his hand to knock when the door came open without him even touching it. He jumped then squeaked, very manly sound, as someone grabbed him around the middle and spun him around in an uncomfortably tight hug.

“What the hell?” he asked.

“Stiles!” she yelled and he finally figured out that it was Cora. She put him down and he got a good look at her, she looked good. Cora was smiling though he was sure that the snarky Cora was under the surface just waiting to strike. Stiles would love to see that. She was so much like a Hale.

“Cora Hale, it’s great to see you.”

“Stiles,” Derek said as he walked out of the house onto the porch. Stiles nodded at the werewolf and squeezed Cora’s shoulder gently as Ethan and Jackson came through the door as well with his dad behind them. Stiles pushed passed them just as his eyes flashed. Stiles stopped, “Dad?”

“Stiles?” Dad responded; his voice strained. Dad shook it off but Stiles didn’t walk the rest of the way to him even though he wanted to. Stiles really desperately wanted to touch his dad and hug him but all he could picture was Scott throwing him against walls and hurting Stiles over and over. All he could picture was Dad hunched unnaturally because he was more wolf than man.

“Son?” Dad asked sadly.

“Noah, why don’t we go for a run?” Jackson offered and Dad nodded, so the two of them as well as Ethan took off out the front door and into the woods. Stiles watched until he couldn’t see them anymore then looked back at Derek and Cora who were staring at him with these matching Hale looks of sadness and maybe pity.

He didn’t need _their fucking pity!_

“Weren’t you supposed to fix him?” Stiles snapped and Derek raised a questioning brow.

“Stiles, would you like to come inside and maybe have a nice glass of chill the fuck out?” Cora asked sweetly and Derek bit his lip, trying not to smile because apparently the Hale sibs had humor and jokes now. They weren’t just a couple of sourwolves anymore.

Stiles rolled his eyes, “You know what, yes I would. With ice please.”

“I’m gonna spit in it,” Cora sing-songed in return and Stiles smiled even though he was still seriously annoyed that his dad apparently can’t even accept a hug, he’s that fucked up about being a werewolf.

“Be nice Cora,” Derek said with a weary sigh. The sigh of an older brother who was more than familiar with the shenanigans of his little sister and Stiles couldn’t help feeling grateful that at least after everything they still had each other. That was a good thing.

“He’s having a hard time with the emotional control that has to be second nature for a new werewolf, your father is going to be just fine. He just needs time and some extra help. Jackson is going to help him run off some steam and then they are going to come back and you can talk to him.”

“I just don’t like seeing him like this.”

“A werewolf?” Derek asked, cocking his head a little in confusion. To be fair, Stiles had never really cared if someone was a werewolf or a human, they just shouldn’t be shitty to him or his friends.

Stiles shook his head, “Just out of control. The last time he was like that was…” He stopped before he could say anything he would regret.

Cora walked back into the room and placed a cup of ice water in front of Stiles and there wasn’t any spit surprisingly. He nodded at her gratefully and chugged about a third of it in a couple of large swallows.

“Was it when your mom passed away?” Cora asked gently as she sat down on the arm of the chair that Derek was sitting in, they made a royal pair in spite of the ratty jeans and t-shirts they were wearing. It was more like they were both carrying the mantle of their mother and the Hale legacy, finally after all this time. Not that he knew what their mother was like, it was just that they were wearing power and serenity like a shawl.

It was a good fucking look on them.

“Yeah, he went off the deep end when she died and it was tough for both of us, I don’t know if we’re going to make it through something like that again.”

“He’s not alone and he doesn’t have to be, neither are you,” Derek responded and Cora nodded along with her brother. They’d come a long way from the disappointment Cora felt when she first found Derek again which Stiles had no business knowing but he’d seen Derek after her shitty comment all those years ago.

“So he’s going to be fine?” Stiles asked.

“He’s not going to be exactly the same but he’s still going to be your dad and he’s still going to love you. Still going to care.”

Stiles nodded and looked around, “So this is the new Pack house huh?”

Derek and Cora let him change the subject but they both had a similar glint that said the conversation was far from over. Cora dragged Stiles around the whole house and Derek made some lunch for everyone. By the time Cora was running out of rooms, she informed Stiles that Jackson, Ethan and Dad were coming close enough to be heard. Jackson and Ethan were laughing and roughhousing a little while Dad growled a little according to Cora.

Stiles smiled at that, the idea that Dad was grumbling about roughhousing boys after all this time was more than a little amusing and comforting. He really should be used to it and werewolves are so much worse because of their tactile natures and also, still boys.

By the time Stiles and Cora came downstairs and walked into the front living room, Jackson and Ethan were fumbling through the front door with smiles and laughter with Dad coming in behind them looking nervous as fuck.

Stiles probably smelled horrible to all of them, nerve wracked and angry about the silent treatment even though he had every intention of not mentioning it.

“Hey Dad,” Stiles waved and Dad walked over and sat down in one of the chairs so Stiles walked over and sat as well. There was nothing else he could really say that wasn’t going to get them all emotionally overwrought again so he just folded his hands together and gripped them, focusing on the sensation of pressure.

“Hey Stiles, I didn’t mean to respond like I did earlier.”

“I get it,” Stiles said because he did. “I remember how hard it was for Scott when he was first turned.”

“I couldn’t trust him,” Dad said and Stiles looked over at him because it was a weird response. Dad looked away a little and Stiles knew exactly who he was talking about.

“What? Dad! It’s Scott!”

“I know,” Dad sighed, “I hate that I even feel this way but the wolf couldn’t ignore it and I couldn’t deal. I remember all the crap he put you through and I remember him distinctly turning his back on you with the Donovan thing when he should have stood by you no matter what. Then he turned me without consent. I know about Liam, that Scott doesn’t seem capable of thinking about what he does and the alpha power that he carries; it’s too dangerous when left unchecked.”

Stiles really wanted to argue; he _really did!_ Mostly because he’d been sticking up for Scott since kindergarten but he had to admit that he couldn’t this time. He chewed a piece out of Scott’s ass for the stupid thing with Liam mostly because Liam was such a loose cannon but also because Scott didn’t ask Liam’s permission and biting his arm was the _best_ way to save him. Then Scott kidnapped Liam and tied him up in the tub. Seriously, Scott was an idiot sometimes. He was mostly a good person but sometimes the things he did were not okay. Derek might have been a sucky Alpha in the beginning but at least he hadn’t turned anyone against their will. Though most of that was trauma, but still.

Scott turning Dad without permission and keeping Stiles out of the picture was a crossed line and Stiles didn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe it felt validating that his dad was agreeing with him on it. His dad who was one of the fairest men Stiles knew.

“Are you mad about being turned? Is that why you couldn’t control the wolf?”

Dad turned and looked at Derek and Cora who were standing at the edge of the room, patient sentries to make sure that Dad didn’t hurt Stiles.

Just in case.

Dad answered after another moment, “I don’t really understand it all myself. There were times when I was normal and it was fine but everything now just seems fuzzy. I know that there were times I went to the office but most of the time Parrish and Chris and others were covering for me. Most of the deputies just thought that I was working from home or out in the field. If they wondered why I was suddenly the Absentee Sheriff, no one really said anything. Parrish has been listening for the chatter.”

Stiles looked at Derek then because Derek is the alpha here, “Do you have any theories about this?”

Derek shrugged, “I have never been a turned werewolf so once again this is something that I only have periphery experience with. I think that Noah just couldn’t handle what the wolf needed and the wolf couldn’t handle what the man knew. He needed an alpha to exert a little control over the wolf but he didn’t trust the alpha who bit him. It’s not an exact science but that would be my guess.”

Stiles nodded and looked at Dad again then before he could lose his nerve, he moved over to him and wrapped his arms around Dad’s body awkwardly. Dad whined a little, a totally canine noise echoing in the tight space between them and they gentled into a warm embrace. Dad didn’t tighten his grip whispering, “I’m still not good with the new strength yet.”

Stiles smiled and pressed a haphazard kiss to his father’s shoulder and held on well past the space of a normal hug. Sue him, Stiles thought he was losing his dad for a moment there so he had every right to cling and not worry about his masculinity. Not that he was. Much. As long as Jackson kept his mouth shut.

When Stiles finally pulled out of the hug, Dad let him go reluctantly. “We’re going to get this figured out and then you are going back to work and everything is going to be okay.”

Dad nodded looking over at Derek for a second before he said, “Don’t blame anyone else for keeping you out of this. It was my stupid call and I’m really sorry about that kiddo.”

Stiles patted his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it right now Dad. We can talk about it later.”

With that, Stiles stood and prepared to leave when Derek cleared his throat, “Why don’t you stay for dinner or something?”

Stiles smiled, “Sure, I think that’s a good idea.”

Dad grumbled and it was clearly a happy sound, like he was happy that Stiles was staying and he watched as Derek walked out of the room and left Stiles to fill his dad in on what he’d been looking up while Dad was out of commission.

“Where’s Chris?” Dad asked, looking around like he expected the ex-hunter to pop out of a closet or something at the sound his name.

“I can’t imagine Derek Hale being okay with inviting one of the last remaining Argents into his Pack home,” Stiles snorted.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, He was always there for me, he stayed with me for long hours and he did everything he could to make sure I wasn’t going to lose my job. I don’t know what to think about any of that but I know that I owe him a lot.”

“You’ll get the chance to tell him all that,” Stiles said with a smile.

Dad nodded, “Sure, I know that. I guess it’s weird that he’s not here now.”

“Do you need him to be?” Stiles asked, he might have to do some convincing but he had a weird pull with Derek so there was a chance that if Dad needed Argent to be here so he could feel better than Stiles would figure it out.

Dad shrugged, “I don’t know what I need. I mean besides you being here and willing to forgive me for being selfish and not wanting you to come back here unless it was necessary. I didn’t want to be the reason that you lost focus with school.”

Stiles frowned but it wasn’t that surprising. Stiles told his dad more lies than he could count to keep the other man safe, it wasn’t a stretch to think Dad would do the same for Stiles’s benefit. He still had a piece of his mind to give to Scott but Dad, maybe this is just a little bit of karma for all the lies.

“You are going back to school for the Spring semester, right?” Dad asked after a couple minutes of long silence.

Stiles nodded but didn’t really know, he hated the idea of leaving Dad now that he knew that this stupid shit was going to continue happening in his absence and his only remaining family was here standing alone against it.

“I know that being turned is going to change things for you but I was kind of hoping that you were still going to consider retiring soon and leaving this town. Maybe coming with me and making a home somewhere else?”

“I know you were kiddo, and I think I shouldn’t make any sort of immediate decisions while I feel so off about everything. I need to speak to Parrish and the other deputies; I need to see Chris and Melissa and I need to work things out with Scott.  I need to know that he is capable of understanding what he did wasn’t okay and it went against my wishes. That cannot go unpunished, even though he was doing it for my own good and probably in extension, for your good as well. Though you know better than anyone how doing something for someone welfare can still have consequences.”

Stiles squirmed at that.

“Okay well why don’t we go see if we can help with dinner or something,” Stiles changed the subject quickly. He wasn’t going to get an answer now, not one that he wanted anyway. It seemed like his dad wasn’t quite ready to really say goodbye to the town yet and the werewolf thing hadn’t changed his mind about that.

Stiles walked through to the kitchen where Jackson and Ethan were sitting at the breakfast nook trading pieces of fruit for kisses and Stiles looked away, not because it was gross because of course it wasn’t, but because they were lucky to have each other and know everything about each other. Cora and Derek were in the kitchen making something that smelled really good and Stiles thought for a moment that he hadn’t had anything home made in so long. Even coming home hadn’t changed that, he’d been eating fast food and a lot of junk food.

This was going to be a really nice change of pace.

Dad and Stiles helped set the table and after a really nice meal, Stiles walked to the door and stopped when Derek followed but Dad didn’t. “So I will come over tomorrow sometime and maybe we can plan a trip to the Sheriff’s Station, let everyone see him again.”

Derek nodded, “I don’t see an issue with that. I think it will be good for him to get back to something appearing normal.”

Stiles stepped outside, making sure he had everything then motioned for Derek to come with him. He’d been thinking about everything that happened since he saw Derek in New York and wondered what he was really feeling or thinking about any of this. Derek followed and they walked towards the jeep and Stiles fumbled his keys and dropped them.

Derek leaned down at the same time as Stiles and their hands touched and Stiles looked at him, “Derek, do you want to take me to dinner tomorrow night?”

Derek smiled then tried to drop the smile only to grin again, “I do. I would really like that.”

Stiles took his keys and got into the jeep while Derek took a couple steps away from the side of the vehicle and waved him off. Stiles went home and climbed into bed in the quiet house, hoping that he wouldn’t be alone for long and he wouldn’t screw up whatever could happen between Derek and him.


	5. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek are going on their first date

Derek got through the next morning and afternoon in a cacophony of giggles and jokes from his pack members about possibly going out with Stiles. Noah had gone to the Sheriff’s station early that morning and so far, they hadn’t heard anything about him losing control. As long as there was nothing going on than Derek wouldn’t have to run in to the rescue which Noah would hate.

He wondered when he first heard about Noah being turned if the man was going to take to being a werewolf with ease. He already had a masterful skill set because of being a deputy and the sheriff and part of that was maintaining a lot of control over his emotions.

Noah was supposed to come back to the Pack House for at least one more night but Jackson or Ethan was going to go fetch him.

They weren’t excited about the ‘fetching’ thing but Derek just shrugged and said it was payback for all the jokes about his date with Stiles. Derek made sure there was food prepared for dinner before he climbed into the Camaro and drove over to the Stilinski residence and got out to get Stiles.

He pressed a hand down the front of his black vest, smoothing it as he went and hoped that he was dressed well for a date night, it had been a long time since he’d been on one. They were going to a club where they could eat dinner and maybe dance a little without going to a dance club like Jungle where Derek’s ears would just feel like they were bleeding and it would send the wrong kind of message. It would send the kind of message that dancing with Stiles back in New York had sent and Derek didn’t want to make more of a mess in this. Hopefully Stiles wouldn’t mind the softer ambience of the location.

He raised a hand and knocked on the front door, hearing Stiles fumble inside then there was a sound of something tipping over and Stiles cursing before the door opened and Derek smiled, “Hey Stiles. Are you ready?”

The human _looked ready!_ Derek looked him up and down, the dark red skinny jeans were very familiar like something he would have worn when he was in high school but the black button up shirt with a leather jacket over it was something different, not even really how he dressed at the Masquerade parties. It was delicious.

Derek moved aside and gestured towards the car so Stiles nodded and walked over, climbed into the Camaro without another word and waited as Derek got in and started the car.

They made the short trip in strangely comforting silence and Derek led the way into the restaurant with trepidation, this was still a leap for him, trying to have something healthy and normal not to mention the fact that he already was more than aware that Stiles wasn’t the healthiest person to engage with but maybe they would make it through the date and deal with whatever later.

Derek told the hostess, a sweet young lady that flirted with him, much to Stiles’s displeasure. In response, Stiles draped his arm over Derek’s shoulder and winked at him. It was not at all subtle, just like Stiles. The hostess scoffed and walked them to their seats and then walked away.

“I don’t think you get to be jealous about this, just yet,” Derek said as they sat down in the booth while smirking.

Stiles flipped him off which just made Derek laugh out right. They settled in and Stiles looked over at Derek before blurting out, “Thank you.”

Derek tilted his head just a little, “What for?”

“For helping my dad get back to himself. I know I was kind of a dick the other day and I don’t know if I ever said thank you and at the time I didn’t really mean it.”

Derek smiled, “Oh?”

“Yeah, I was just jealous that you got to be the savior for him. I wanted to be the reason he came out of it. It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid.”

Derek shrugged because he didn’t consider the jealousy to be out of hand or abnormal, “He’s your dad, I think your allowed to be emotional about this, not to mention the fact that at least for the days before you got here, you didn’t know if he was actually okay. I’m just glad that he was willing to be pulled out of the feral headspace. I couldn’t have let him go if he didn’t come out of it.”

Stiles flinched and Derek sighed.

“Let’s see if it’s possible to talk about anything else than this stupid fucked up town for five minutes,” Stiles asked with a forced smile.

“Deal,” Derek said and waited. There were a lot of things he wanted to talk about but it wasn’t really first date, barely giving it a chance, kind of conversation. It was more along the lines of sharing feelings that he wouldn’t be having on a first date if it wasn’t Stiles.

“What was it like, getting back your alpha abilities?” Stiles finally asked.

Derek raised a brow, “Wouldn’t that be a Beacon Hills thing?”

Stiles shook his head, “It happened when you weren’t here right?”

“Yeah, I was with Cora when it came back. I didn’t kill another alpha for it.”

Stiles nodded like he somehow knew that even though there was no reason he should have known that, “It just came back?”

“The alpha that Cora was staying with when I found her said that the stuff that Peter said was basically bullshit and he knew that I would turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy and I did. The power didn’t really come back until I felt really centered and between the other alpha and my counselor, they helped me to really accept it.”

“Peter was being a lying piece of shit, color me surprised,” Stiles responded in a flat tone and Derek chuckled.

“I know, crazy thing that. Anyway, Cora agreed to stay with me and we went and found Jackson and Ethan, they weren’t even back in London yet. They agreed to stay with me, become betas. It’s been interesting getting to know the new Jackson, the one who is still kind of a dick sometimes but equally is just a good man and really centered. I think that Ethan helped him a lot with that, coming out of the closet and just letting himself be him.”

“Cool,” Stiles responded and fell silent.

“Why?” Derek coughed, trying to clear his throat which seemed to be closing up on him. “Why the masks and the one-night stands and all that?”

Stiles glared at him for a moment, “As if that were any of your business.”

“You’re absolutely right, it’s none of my business. I just wondered why, when you had the chance to leave all this crap behind, you decided to take it with you.”

“So when you left Beacon Hills, both times, you were all better?” Stiles snarked rudely.

Derek shook his head, “No, you make a good point. I was fucked up for a long time but you were so determined to get out of here that maybe I was a little surprised that you were going out of your way to pretend to be someone else. It was one of the things I always liked about you, that you were always unabashedly Stiles Stilinski.”

Stiles shrugged, “I was always good at masks, before I ever started going to the Masquerade dances. I didn’t want anyone to know that everything with the Nogitsune and then Donavan it all felt like my soul was stained forever but I wanted to hide myself long before that. It started after my mom.”

The waiter came over and took their order, leaving them again in the strange silence of that last honest answer. Derek thought about all the things he’d gone through and all the times he determinedly tried to run away and be someone else. Even when he came back, instead of being the Derek Hale he’d once been, he’d turned himself into the ‘sourwolf’ that Stiles liked to call him. He wasn’t the same Derek Hale now. Things changed a person and it was unfair to think that Stiles owed it to him to be like he once was.

“You heard the story about Paige, right?” Derek asked.

“Well I heard it from Peter so I’m guessing it was full of inconsistencies.”

“Before Paige and the fire burned me from the inside out, before Peter fucked me over and fucked over an innocent girl’s life for the sake of a power bid with Ennis which I didn’t learn about until much later, I wasn’t like this. I was pretty much a little shit who knew he was the best thing since sliced bread. I knew I was handsome and I used it with everyone. I used it with everyone except Paige because she didn’t care. She knew that I was attractive but she took none of my shit. I love her for it. I loved her.”

Stiles reached out and took Derek’s hand in his for a second then released it, “I get it. You’re not the same either.”

“What I’m saying now is that maybe you and I both need to figure out who we are before this can even be a thing,”

Stiles shrugged and their food came, breaking up the conversation again. After that they talked about the places Derek and Cora went before going to New York and the classes that Stiles was taking at school and how he was enjoying it before Derek paid the check and they went back out to the car and Derek drove them back to Stiles’s house.

He put the Camaro in park and turned to look at Stiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow when you come to visit your dad. Sound good?”

Stiles nodded and smiled a little, “Do you wanna walk me to my door?”

Derek frowned and nodded with a shrug, turning off the car and get out and walking up the steps while Stiles pulled the house keys out of his pocket. “Why are you asking me to walk you a couple yards to your front door?”

Stiles turned to him and pressed a hand to the back of Derek’s neck and he jolted, not used to the feeling of someone touching him there. Not even his betas were really allowed to do that. Stiles shushed him gently, “I’m not going to hurt you Derek but I am going to ask you to come inside with me and have the first of many ill-advised sexual encounters that are not going to be a one night stand for me which is scary but good I think and they are going to be consented from you, each and every time. Starting with this one. What do you say?”

“I say you are a moron and this is going to hurt a lot if we fuck it up.”

Stiles nodded seeming bashful and sad at the same time, “Can I kiss you anyway, just to see what it could have been like then?”

Derek nodded because he couldn’t say no, Stiles grinned and Derek leaned in slowly and Stiles met him halfway. Derek pressed his lips to Stiles’s mouth and it didn’t take more than a second for Stiles to open his mouth to feed Derek his tongue. Derek sighed into his mouth and pulled away. “This is a horrible idea, let’s do it anyway.”

Stiles fist pumped, he almost punched Derek in the face but they shoved through the front door and headed up to Stiles’s bedroom. Derek hoped this was going to be worth it.

 

Stiles rolled onto his back and groaned happily as Derek ran his fingers gently over Stiles’s chest and down his stomach. “Yeah, that needs to be a thing we do more than once.”

Derek chuckled, “Well I think that should be arranged but I meant what I said. I really don’t want this to just be us screwing each other up even more. It can’t just be about the sex for me, even if it was a blast.”

Stiles nodded and turned over on his side to face Derek, feeling that delicious stretch and smiled. “I don’t want to make this about fucking. It’s not going to be like all the booty calls that I have made in the past. Derek, you deserve better than that and according to you, so do I.”

Derek smiled, “I should go though, maybe shower so I don’t smell like sex and my new betas son.”

Stiles crawled over to lay across Derek’s chest, “Why do you have to go at all?”

“Do you want me to stay?” Derek asked.

Stiles nodded, leaning down to press another kiss to Derek’s mouth before settling down on his chest and closing his eyes. Derek understood that this was something Stiles probably didn’t do with anyone else either, letting them stay. He hoped that was a good sign and Derek figured they could deal with everything else the next day.

When Stiles woke up, he could smell something cooking, frowning as he got out of bed and pulled on some boxers and a t-shirt that he found on the end of the bed which were definitely not there when they went to sleep last night. Stiles would have just kicked them off the bed. Derek was a really good provider, maybe it was a wolf thing. Stiles couldn’t think of any reason to be upset about it.

Stiles smiled as he walked downstairs, Derek was in the kitchen, working at the stove on something that smelled really good. He hadn’t really been cooking anything, nothing healthy during college or since he came home so Stiles was impressed on a couple of levels.

“Hey, what are you up to?” Stiles asked, walking over and pressing a kiss to Derek’s shoulder. The alpha was also wearing boxers and a shirt and Stiles wondered if he could convince Derek to strip down for some fellatio in the living room before they went their separate way until Stiles went over to the Pack house later.

“I can smell what you are thinking,” Derek said with a snort, “And no, as much as I would love to do whatever you are thinking of; I need to shower and get back to the house to make sure the others are doing okay.”

“They would have called if things weren’t okay,” Stiles said, slipping a hand under the hem of the shirt and rubbing across Derek’s stomach. Derek pressed a staying hand over his and bumped his jaw against Stiles’s head before he served up the perfectly made omelets and forced Stiles to sit down at the table like civilized people.

“So, if you are so worried about the whole we’re going to screw this up thing, maybe I should get that counselor’s number. Maybe I can give them a call today while I am pretending to ignore the fact that I had my world rocked by a werewolf last night. Never going to be able to go back to anyone. You’ve ruined me for all others.”

Derek rolled his eyes at Stiles’s monologue, “I don’t think you have to pretend that didn’t happen.”

“No but if I don’t ignore it then I am going to pretend that everything is okay and I won’t make the call. I know this is different Derek but every defense mechanism in my brain right now is demanding that I treat you like a booty call and never speak again or add you to my electronic little black book. That can’t happen and I don’t want it to, I just don’t know what else to do right now.”

Derek nodded and pulled something out from his jacket pocket which was hanging over one of the chairs and Stiles took the card, “Shavon Markus, she’s pretty amazing. I don’t know if she would be the one you are speaking with but she is my contact to those counselors.”

Stiles nodded thanks and Derek went upstairs to shower before he headed out to the Hale house, giving Stiles one more kiss on the lips and said a sweet, “see you later” against his mouth.

Stiles didn’t know what else to do so he pulled out his cellphone and dialed the number. Someone answered after a couple of rings, “Dr. Markus speaking, how can I help you?”

“Hello, my name is Stiles Stilinski, I got your number from Derek Hale. He thought I might be able to get some help from you or an associate.”

The doctor cleared her throat, “I am pleased to hear that Derek is willing to share my information with someone who is in need of some support, he has come a long way. Would you like to fill out some intake paperwork? I can email them to you now and then we can set up another call for this afternoon to get some preliminary stuff out of the way.”

“Are you going to be asking about why I am seeking help?” Stiles asked, a little strained.

“Well I am hoping that as we get through some of the preliminary goals for counseling, you would be willing to share why you think you need the help.”

Stiles nodded, “That makes sense I guess but this kind of conversation, is it going to be recorded or anything?”

“Mr. Stilinski, I am more than capable of keeping the secrets of my patients and I only have secure phone lines and I never take these calls when someone can overhear them. Not even with _heightened_ senses.”

The way she put emphasis on ‘heightened’ convinced Stiles that he had the right person more than anything else. He rattled off his email address, a call back number and his actual name that appeared on his ID. She made him spell it twice then guaranteed that she would call him Stiles or Mr. Stilinski.

As soon as he got the paperwork, he started filling it out so he could send it back, there was a medical history, something that was a little strange to fill out especially with ‘evil fox spirit possession’ but hopefully all the paperwork was private and protected as well. Then he filled out some questionnaires about his feelings and let himself actually feel all the stupid things he’d been hiding from for a long time through the sex and the masks and the research.

Once he was done with all of that, he sent it back to the private email for Dr. Markus and went upstairs to take a shower. He had a couple hours before he had to call her again for their first ‘session’ and he wanted to see his dad.

Once he was cleaned up, Stiles got dressed and drove to the Hale house, when he was on the cusp of the Preserve, he heard his phone jingle with Derek’s new ringtone (Wolves by Selena Gomez because Stiles is a sarcastic ass) so he answered the call, “What’s the news Sexywolf?”

“Hey, I figured you might be on your way out here, your dad went to go meet with Argent at the small cottage where he’s been staying.”

“Thanks Boo,” Stiles said happily and Derek growled. “What? You don’t like ‘Boo’?”

“Who would?” Derek asked and Stiles could imagine the eyebrows of doom judging him through the phone.

“Someone, somewhere in the world, someone loves ‘Boo’ but I hear you. I will have to see what else I can come up with.” Stiles made the appropriate turn for the cottage that Argent was staying in and asked, “So did you get the third degree when you got back to the Pack House this morning?”

Derek sniffed, like the start of a laugh but not quite there, “There was some teasing but there was no need for the third degree, all the betas know what sex smells like, even after I showered, there was enough to tip them off plus I smelled different.”

“Because of close proximity?” Stiles asked.

“No, because I was happy.”

Stiles flushed even though no one was there to see it, “Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah Stiles,” Derek returned and then hung up without another word.

Stiles laughed at the rudeness so closely following a compliment and parked in front of the cottage before puting the jeep in park. By the time he was turning the key off, his dad was standing on the porch in front of the house with a smile. Stiles walked over and threw his arms around Dad in a hug which the older man graciously accepted.

“Just so you know,” Noah said as he pulled away from Stiles, “I always thought that someday when you accepted yourself, you and Derek…”

Stiles pulled away shouting, “Nope, sorry but nope. We are not talking about this Daddio.”

Dad smiled and nodded, “Understood. I just wanted you to know, I accept whatever decision you make about this.”

Stiles gave a jaunty salute and they walked back inside. Argent was sitting in one of the chairs next to the hearth, leaving the other one open and no third for all of them to sit. _What a jerk,_ Stiles thought as he nodded to the other man in greeting.

“Argent,” Stiles said.

“Stiles,” Argent replied, “Nice to see you again. I figured you would be bumping uglies with the alpha for as long as possible.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “He and I both have other things to do besides each other so here I am, making sure my _Dad_ is doing okay and wondering why the hell he’s friends with you.”

“Stiles,” Dad admonished in that tone that said he should be nice and say he was sorry.

“He’s a jerk, Dad, I am not going to apologize to him. He doesn’t deserve one.”

Dad groaned and rubbed his hand over his face, “Why don’t we go for a walk.”

Stiles nodded and they turned right back around and walked out, happy to leave the house that Chris apparently decided was his even after Dad didn’t need him anymore. The petty part of him hoped that Derek kicked him off the property. Stiles let the silence stand for a few minutes before he finally spoke, “Why are you so close with him?”

“Chris and I were kind of close before all this, he was working with the Sheriff’s station and between him and Melissa, we were all close because of the supernatural stuff and having none of the kids around which as a parent is really a difficult transition.”

“And he’s the one you trusted when you were all feral, like what the hell is that about Dad?”

Dad shrugged, “Look Stiles, I’m allowed to have relationships with other people. You left, and I wanted you to, believe me, but you don’t have the right to tell me what to do or not do with my life.”

“So hiding what happened to you? That was what? Revenge?”

Dad stopped and glared at him, his eyes flashing gold for a second, “Stop putting words in my mouth. I didn’t tell you when I was in the hospital because I didn’t get a call back from you when I tried and honestly, I wanted to let you get through finals then it was worse and I didn’t know what was happening. When I woke up, it was so hard to control the wolf and I didn’t want you to come back here just to find a hunter had to kill me or something. I made a mistake. I made a lot of mistakes but dammit, so did you. You cut me out just as much as I let you cut me out. Can we please just let me have a life and you can have a life and maybe you and I can get back to a basic equilibrium again.”

Stiles rubbed a hand over his face, “I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

“Stiles!” Dad called as Stiles walked back towards the jeep. Argent was standing just outside the front door watching him. Stiles flipped him off before he got into the jeep and headed back to his dad’s house where the man wasn’t even living and who knows if he ever was again.

He had a call with a shrink to prepare for anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these last couple of chapters are coming out fast because its the end of the month and I need it finished to win. 
> 
> wish me luck!!!


	6. Everything Goes to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles's coping mechanisms get in the way of having a relationship with Derek, there is a visitor in the pack house and Cora protects her brother.

Derek waited as Noah paced back and forth in front of him. Jackson and Ethan were sitting on the couch, kissing and hugging every once in a while, like they couldn’t help but touch each other. It was comforting to see. They were sitting there because they felt the need to be close to Noah who was distraught. Cora was sitting on the steps nearby. She had been with a large pack for a while after she left Beacon Hills and there was a lot of things that she didn’t like to get into the middle of for personal reasons but she still liked to be supportive and close.

“Noah,” Derek finally spoke and the older man paused and looked at all of them.

He opened his mouth but nothing came out at first then said, “Is this wrong or something? I can’t even tell anymore,” then started to pace again.

“No, you’re not doing anything wrong. Would you like to tell us what happened? I figured seeing Stiles would be good for you.”

“He’s so mad about me not telling him anything and I just don’t want to deal with how fucked up our relationship is right now. I am more than a little aware that he was the parent in our home for so long but he left me here and he didn’t answer the multiple calls and I’m the one in the wrong.”

Derek stared in surprise, apparently Stiles didn’t only get the rambling in anger from his mother, Noah was more than a little adept at it as well. It was strange.

“It’s more than a little possible that both you and Stiles are incapable of finding a healthy equilibrium right now,” Jackson said from where he was sitting and Ethan punched him in the shoulder for it, “Hey! I said right now! Geez! I’m going to make you kiss that better later. Sheriff Stilinksi is dealing with the higher emotions of being a werewolf and Stiles is basically incapable of seeing that he’s wrong, honestly, he’s always been like that. The suckfest part is that he turns out to be right so often that he can’t fathom being wrong about this. Plus, he almost lost his dad and he’s responding really badly to that. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure he feels guilty about not being here.”

Derek and Cora both stared at Jackson for a couple minutes while Noah continued to pace, though he was a little calmer now than he was before Jackson spoke.

“When did you get to be an expert on Stiles Stilinski?” Cora asked continuing to frown.

Ethan threw his head back laughing while Jackson glared at him. “Don’t you say a word Ethan!” Jackson snapped.

“This is so amazing; I can’t even handle it.”

Jackson flashed his bright blue eyes at his boyfriend who just snorted again, clearly unimpressed with Jackson’s show of anger. Derek rolled his eyes at them and figured he could needle the information out of Ethan later, but it didn’t matter right now. Jackson had a point, several in fact. Noah and Stiles were basically primed to screw things up right now, which was one of the reasons Derek asked him to keep a lid on some of it until Noah was more stable. Clearly Stiles wasn’t capable of listening to him whether they are sleeping together or not, Derek didn’t know why but that was comforting in its annoyance.

“What am I supposed to do?” Noah asked, huffing a tired breath.

“Let’s go for a run and see if that helps to shake anything loose,” Derek invited and Jackson stood up, basically dumping his boyfriend on the ground in his haste to join. Noah nodded, chuckling at the other wolves’ antics as Ethan got off the floor and punched Jackson in the shoulder for the ungraceful toppling. Cora was a little more reserved as they walked over to the back, shifted into their beta forms, discarding shoes or socks if they were wearing any and took off into the woods.

Derek would shift into his full wolf form during the next full moon, let Noah run with him like that and get used to it but for now it wasn’t necessary or helpful. Being able to converse, even around fangs was still better for the new beta even knowing how much he wanted that feeling of the wind whipping through his full coat. That was going to feel amazing. He wanted desperately to run free like that more than he did but living in a small town or a metropolitan area meant giving up the wolf a little bit.

Derek watched as Cora and Jackson tussled together, trying to knock each other into trees and laughing/whooping when they succeeded. Noah watched them with a keen interest that made Derek wonder if he wanted to join in but felt weird about it, being so much older than them.

Derek shifted his path so he could move closer to Noah and bumped their shoulders together and he looked over and smiled.

“You don’t have to pretend here, not with us.”

At that, Cora rushed over and leapt at Noah in a comedic hop and dragged him sideways. Noah growled, sounding playful as he knocked Cora off, or tried at least. Instead they ended up running like that for a few minutes, Cora hanging off Noah’s neck and her legs wrapped around his stomach like a limpet. Jackson and Ethan picked up the fooling around and Derek threw his head back and howled, listening as they all joined in.

Whether or not this run shook anything loose about how to fix whatever was going on with Stiles and his dad, at least they were together. Derek let the sounds of their howls bounce of the trees and the swept away with the wind, wondering if Stiles would hear them and hoped he could.

 

Stiles stopped pacing around the front room when he heard the howls, there was no way he could determine one sound from the others but he imagined he could hear Derek and his dad.

He was in idiot.

There was no need to question it, Stiles had already concluded the truth and though he had no desire to be friends with Christopher fucking Argent, he shouldn’t have gone off on his dad like that. There was no point.

He walked back over to the side table where all the research about counseling and different methods was located and looked it over. He didn’t really know what he was in for but he’d wanted to be ready.

The phone rang, the sound wasn’t the generic ring tone that he was expecting, instead it was the 90’s song _‘Scotty doesn’t know’_ because that was his best friend’s theme song if there ever had been one.

Stiles answered, “Scotty, I don’t have time for this.”

“Stiles! There’s another alpha in town and he took control of your dad!”

Stiles pulled the phone from his head and stared at it for a second, waiting for Scott to yell ‘Bazinga’ or ‘kidding’ or something. When Scott just called out, “Stiles! Are you there? Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah, I just thought you were kidding. I figured you would be speaking to Argent or something. Isn’t he dating your mom?”

Scott scoffed and Stiles’s frown deepened and wondered what happened there, “I mean I think they date but I don’t really know. That doesn’t matter. What are we going to do about your dad?”

“Well,” Stiles started, “Since the alpha that’s here in town is Derek and he pulled my dad out of the feral nature he was stuck in; I don’t think you can call that ‘taking control of my dad’, they are just bonding in the woods. I’m hoping he’s going to come home soon, like come back his home instead of living with Derek and the Hale betas.”

“What? Since when is Derek an alpha again? Did he kill someone to get it?”

Stiles rubbed his eyes, “Scott, my bro, I am going to get off the phone. I have an appointment that I can’t miss but come over later and we can talk all you want.”

“Okay,” Scott said then started just as Stiles was hanging up, “Can I bri--?”

“Whoops,” Stiles said and watched at the background of his phone went dark only to light up as another call came in and he answered, “Stiles Stilinski here.”

“Stiles, this is Dr. Markus, is this still a good time?”

“Yes Dr. Markus,” Stiles responded before he sat down on the couch and considered for a moment laying down because of the stereotyping of laying on a couch when someone speaks to a therapist. He aborted at the last minute, thinking that it felt to vulnerable even if she wasn’t in the room with him.

“So I would like to just start with some of your background. We can talk about where the supernatural started to affect your life but I would also like to talk about beforehand. Sometimes, the things that affect us the most had nothing to do with werewolves and so on.”

Stiles took a deep breath and went for broke since this was going to be the hardest thing, might as well get it out of the way, “When I was eight years old my mother died of Frontotemporal Dementia. I was with her when it happened but that was at the end of several months where she would be hallucinating about me and she would tell my father that it was my fault and I was trying to kill her.”

He could hear her settling in a little, “Let’s start there then.”

Stiles nodded and continued. He told her about his mom and the times when his dad had hidden in a bottle of whiskey for long enough that Stiles started taking care of himself and started policing his father’s eating behavior though that didn’t really start until after Dad pulled himself back out of the bottle.

Stiles told her that he also started going out and doing things that his dad would specifically tell him not to do. A rebellious streak that led him and Scott into the woods the night that Peter bit Scott, turning him into a werewolf. Everything from that point on came out in a rush of words. He gave her everything in bullet format, an overview before a conclusion paragraph. All the reasons why he was fucked up and when he finished with his dad being turned without consent by his best friend and now, he didn’t know if he could have a real relationship with anyone anymore.

Stiles stopped, sucked un a deep breath and looked at the clock, shocked to find that it had been more than forty minutes. Dr Markus asked a couple of clarifying questions before she finally spoke, “It seems to me that you have a lot of reasons to keep people at bay but you don’t want to.”

Stiles frowned, “I guess not.”

“I don’t think we would be on this phone call unless you wanted something different from anonymous sex and estrangement from the town and the only family you have left.”

Stiles picked at the arm of the chair he was sitting in, “So what’s next?”

“Well this business that I run is a little strange, because I work with people all over the nation and several people, I know do the same, I would be able to come to Beacon Hills and meet with you in a couple days, how would that sound?”

“In person? You have that kind of money? Speaking of money.”

“I don’t do this for the money,” Dr Markus said with a smile, he could hear it in her voice. “Let me worry about how I am going to get there. Shall we plan for some time around noon in two days’ time? Just email me the address of where you would like to meet, either your house or maybe some place more public. It would be up to you.”

“I will send that after we get off the phone, thank you for your time.”

“And thank you for your honesty, Stiles.”

Stiles hung up the phone and grabbed a pen from a nearby pile, making a quick note about the time and the day as well as if he even thought this was going to go anywhere. Right now, he felt nothing, except maybe the desire for a booty call. Maybe that was something but he felt that before and it didn’t necessarily have anything to do with his shit history and more to do with the delicious package of Derek Hale.

Stiles thought for a moment then dialed Derek who didn’t answer, he was probably out with the pack. After a couple of rings, the voicemail picked up with Derek saying ‘Speak.’ That was it. ‘Speak’.

Stiles shook his head, “That’s your voicemail message, what a load of crap. Anyway, you wanna come over and let me ride that ‘D’. I will make it so good for you.” Then without saying anything else, he hung up.

Then thought about the fact that his father was basically living with his booty call and sent a text saying, _‘Left you a voicemail, change that message because it’s stupid. Also, don’t listen to that voicemail where my dad can hear. We will both be eternally grateful.’_

With that sent he rushed upstairs to shower really quick before walking back into his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist another to dry his hair. He picked out some clothes then dug around his bag for the nondescript box he took with him everywhere but had to keep on the downlow when he was staying with anyone, especially his father. Sometimes he wanted to be ridden hard but he also loved using a plug for some extra stretch when he was expecting someone. Hopefully Derek would get the message quickly because Stiles didn’t want to pregame too much and then miss out on the pleasure his body and cock was going to give.

He was going to have some fun. Maybe that would make the conversation and the shit with his dad a little more bearable.

 

Derek got out of the shower and rolled his shoulders; running was always so good with a release of tension. He loved letting loose and it wasn’t something he’d been able to do a lot for the time he was in New York. Not to mention Noah was napping in his room and felt better about everything after the run which made the alpha feel good. Jackson and Ethan were off in the woods doing the dirty somewhere and Cora was trolling Beacon Hills for someone to spend some time with outside the pack. Derek wasn’t sure she had the temperament to really make new friends but maybe she could find someone who can outsnark her.

Derek grabbed his cell phone and saw the text message and voicemail from Stiles. He listened to it and smirked a little, wondering if he should go. He wouldn’t mind spending some time with Stiles but he didn’t really know if making this about sex was the best thing for him, not to mention that Stiles and his dad got into a fight earlier that day. Maybe this was just him wanting to deal with that.

Derek shrugged, sending back a text: _‘As compelling as your offer is, maybe we should talk first. But maybe take you up on that later?’_ then put his phone aside and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. When he was dress, Derek headed out of the house and towards the Stilinski’s place. When he got there, Derek parked at the end of the driveway, making sure to not block Stiles’s jeep. Derek walked up to the house and knocked, after a few minutes Stiles stumbled downstairs and walked towards the door. He was walking funny; Derek could hear the difference in his gait so when Stiles opened the door Derek tilted his head at the scent of lubricant.

“Is sex really all I’m here for?” Derek asked, grinning but feeling a little concerned.

Stiles dragged him into the house and pulled Derek in for a kiss before he even said hello. Derek kissed him back, frowning a little as they moved inside the house and Stiles kicked the door closed behind them all while never letting up on the kiss and making it aggressive as well.

Stiles pulled away for a moment, “I’m using a plug and I’m ready for you baby. Come on upstairs and let me ride you like a pony.”

Derek pulled away and blinked a couple times, “Did you seriously just call me over here like one of your booty calls? Was that what this was? I guess I was hoping for something like dinner or conversation before the fucking. I mentioned as much in my message.”

Stiles scoffed, laughing off what Derek said, “This is not just like that, I never see one of my booty calls twice in a row, it’s one of my rules. You’re special though.” Stiles winked and leaned in to kiss Derek again.

Derek pulled back gently trying not to use his werewolf leverage but Stiles was getting handsy and he didn’t want just this, whatever this was, “Stiles, I think we need to talk about what happened today and maybe we need to talk about what I want out of this relationship that were are trying to have because I thought I made that clear but right now, this makes me think that maybe I wasn’t clear enough.”

Stiles scoffed and pushed away from Derek, “I don’t want to talk about my dad or anything that I talked to the counselor about. I don’t want to talk; I want to fuck!”

Derek sighed and taking another step back, “I wouldn’t mind having sex if there was more to the time we were sharing together but if that’s all I’m here for, to regulate your bad mood with an orgasm then I think I should just go.”

“Fuck this,” Stiles threw his hands up and walked away, still walking a little funny, “Maybe I’ll just call someone else to fuck.”

Derek flinched, “That’s your choice Stiles but if you choose to do that then this is over for me, last night wasn’t supposed to be a lead in to a fuck buddy situation. I can’t just be a dick for you to ride. I care about you; I fell for you and that feeling hasn’t gone away but maybe that’s really not what you want and I am not going to cheapen what I want just because this is all you are capable of giving me. I don’t know if I need to apologize for last night if this is the result but I’d hoped this could be more for you too.”

Stiles crossed his arms sullenly and said nothing, then he grinned and started taking off his t-shirt, while undulating his hips a little, “I can feel the plug Derek but it’s not really enough.” Derek scented Stiles’s arousal, as it turned spicy instead of sweet and he recognized that more than anything, causing him to turn towards the door. There is this scent cue, it smells like arousal but it’s different enough that he’d only ever recognized it on three other people; Kate when he was sixteen and didn’t know any better, Jennifer when he was spellbound and didn’t care what he was scenting and any time Peter was around anyone who he was manipulating or attracted to. Sometimes those were the same person for him.

It was the scent of lies hidden in truth. It happened mostly when there was subterfuge of some kind happening but the fact that Stiles was willing to use such manipulation and reminded him of Kate was the end of it for him. Derek opened the door and slammed it on Stiles as the man dropped his pants and turned to show him the plug, feeling nauseous. Derek walked a couple feet away from the door and before he could stop it, threw up all over the front lawn.

He could hear Stiles calling from inside, “Derek, come back! What the fuck man!”

Derek found himself back in her bedroom, hair hanging down enough to block his views of the exits and making him feel closed in and scared, all the while she smelled spicy and harsh. Her hands on his wilted penis talking in his ear, “Come on baby, I can make this so good if you would stop being such a baby about it.”

Derek dry heaved again, worried momentarily if his stomach was going to come out of his mouth. He fumbled down to his hands and knees for a moment and when he felt like it was over, Derek wiped his mouth and stood up. Turning around he saw Stiles standing at the window, looking about as wrecked as Derek felt but he turned away and went back to the Camaro, wishing he had something he could use to wash out his mouth before he went back to the Pack House. They were going to smell the vomit and the irritation from dry heaving but he still didn’t like the idea of broadcasting it to the world. After getting into the Camaro, feeling weak on his feet he grabbed a bottle of water and swished out his mouth.

Derek opened the door to spit the fetid water onto the cement and drove back towards the Preserve but didn’t head back to the house, instead he went to the overlook where people liked to take dates and make out. No one was there, for the moment so Derek took out his phone and called one of the few people he felt like he could talk to in this situation.

Dr. Markus picked up on the third ring, “Derek, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“Hey Dr. Markus, I hate to call you outside our scheduled time,” Derek paused and took a deep breath.

“Just tell me, don’t worry about making the call. I’m glad you did. You’ve come so far, asking for support and help is a part of that.”

“I just had a flashback about Kate and Jennifer, because of the guy that I really like. I don’t know how to separate what was happening with him and what they did to me before.”

“Are you safe?” Dr. Markus asked, it seemed like such a silly thing to ask an Alpha werewolf who should be able to get through anything but Dr. Markus has been asking him that for months now when he was triggered. It was a tool she used to remind him that he wasn’t stuck with Kate or at the mercy of Jennifer. It was something they talked about, to help him be present.

He took a couple of deep breaths and nodded, “I’m safe. I’m alone in my car in a spot that I know very well from when I lived here before. I’m safe.”

“Good, that’s very good Derek.” After all this time, her voice was soothing, almost like a parent or a sibling and because she worked with the supernatural, much of the time they spent together Dr. Markus used physical contact to give their trust a deeper connection. He imagined her fingers on his hand, not moving and letting him know that he could trust her.

“The guy I like, he called me for sex and I thought maybe he was kidding around and we were going to have a date night. Then when I told him that’s not what I wanted, he started stripping and trying to entice me into changing my mind. I went outside and threw up in the front yard.”

Dr. Markus made a sound of empathy, “I am proud that you were able to leave when he was doing something that you were uncomfortable with. That is a huge accomplishment for you. I am sad to hear that someone you care about isn’t able to give you the kind of relationship you were hoping for especially after all the times we talked about you telling him what you wanted.”

Derek took a tremulous breath, letting it shudder back out of him, “I told him if all I was going to be was a fuck buddy then we weren’t going to be anything and he said he was going to call someone else. And I said if he did that then we weren’t going to be anything at all. Was that an ultimatum?”

Dr. Markus hummed, “It seems like you said what you needed to say and now you are going to have to hold that boundary with this person unless they decide to have an open dialogue about what you both want. I know you are going to be fine; you have your pack and you were able to make a decision and then call me. Triggers are a part of life and this probably won’t be the last one especially if this person is going to keep using the manipulation tactics that he is used to employing. If it happens again, you need to have a plan and I want you to call me no matter the time or hour.”

Derek nodded then spoke, “I’m going to go back to the pack house and see my pack. I want to see my sister.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea, please don’t let her kill the guy okay?”

“Sounds like a good idea especially considering the close relationship I have with his father,” Derek said and chuckled.

Dr. Markus and Derek shared some final words, mostly double checking their next appointment and then Derek hung up the phone, took a couple more calming breaths and headed back towards the house. When he got there; Jackson, Ethan and Cora were already on the doorstep waiting for him. Derek took a deep breath and got out and they enveloped Derek in their arms, not even pausing for a second. Derek wondered where Noah was for a moment but didn’t really want to worry about it right now.

“Noah is with Argent at the moment and there is someone else here that wanted to see you. You wanna come inside?” Cora asked.

Derek nodded and walked into the house with everyone still touching him, soothing him. He scented a familiar scent and threw open the door with a smile as Kira Yukimura bounced over to hug him. Derek swung her around in his arms, “What are you doing here?”

Kira giggled, one of the happiest sounds Derek had ever heard coming from someone about interacting with him. “Derek! I am so happy to see you! When I saw Cora, I realized you must be here as well. I didn’t know if there was going to be anything here for me in town and here you are!”

Derek could tell that excitement was like a sisterly desire and happiness and he squeezed her for another moment before Derek dropped her back to the floor and Kira dragged Derek over to the couch and shoved him down so they could all cuddle in around him.

“You need to tell us right now why you smell sad and hurting,” Cora snarled, but there was this ridiculous overlay of concern and love that Derek burrowed into. Hopefully that meant that he would have enough time to convince her not to kill anyone.

“Stiles behaved like an ass and I have issues,” Derek said with a shrug, not wanting to get into anything with Kira here and everyone ready to leap into protective action. They may have all sucked when they were younger, him as an alpha and them as betas but now they were better off together. And right now several of them were kind of fighting back the desire to go find Stiles and beat some sense into him.

“Don’t make this a small thing please,” Kira said as she hugged his arm, just enjoying the closeness, “It was bad wasn’t it? I don’t have to be a werewolf to see that you’re upset and that’s no good.”

“You didn’t come to hear about my woes,” Derek responded.

Jackson chuckled, “’Woes,’ you nerd.”

Derek smiled because Jackson didn’t sound like he did in high school, now it was said with amusement and fondness instead of actual disdain. “Anyway, when did you get back into town Kira?”

“I was coming through to see my parents and avoiding Scott because he’s fighting with Malia or something and has been bugging me about it.”

Derek had wondered about his cousin being with the ‘True Alpha of Beacon Hills’ but he hadn’t really wanted to know about her sex life so he didn’t ask her anything. Malia had no filter and he didn’t need to know. It had been bad enough when she and Stiles smelled like each other all the time though they didn’t smell like sex very often so who knows what had been going on.

Maybe they had just been little more than ‘trauma bound’ but there is no way he needed to think about Scott and Malia when they _definitely_ smelled like sex.

“I’m glad you stopped by, let’s get some dinner and binge watch the Avengers movies.”

Kira laughed, “You want to sit around and watch super hero movies?”

“Yes I do,” Derek smiled, hugged Kira one more time before he got up out of the pile of bodies and headed for the kitchen. They all shared kitchen duties but sometimes, especially on days like this, Derek really liked providing for his little family so he set about making some burritos, pulling all the ingredients out. Cora followed him into the kitchen and helped slice and dice the vegetables and garnishes while Jackson, Ethan and Kira started the first _Iron Man_.

Cora let the silence go on until the others were involved in the movie, though they would still be able to hear but only if they were actively listening. Kira wouldn’t be able to while Jackson and Ethan frequently started making out during movies so they should be relatively safe. “What happened Der?”

“I had a triggered event, mostly sucked and I don’t think that Stiles and I are going to date after all. The other night may have been a mistake.”

“What did he do?” Cora gritted out. Apparently pretending it wasn’t that big of a deal wasn’t working. Derek should have taken this to the grave, Cora was definitely going to hunt down Stiles and kick his ass.

Maybe that sounded like something that should happen but Derek wasn’t going to encourage her.

“I don’t think it’s actually any of your business, it was really personal and kind of embarrassing for the both of us.”

“Derek,” Cora snapped.

“Okay! Fine!” Derek responded as he started the ground beef to simmer in the onion and oil. He covered that and the beans on the other burner, wiped his hands as he turned around and told her everything that happened. Cora knew most of what Derek told Dr. Markus, not just from today’s call but all the times he’d met with her. When they caught up with each other, Cora and Derek became each other’s confidant and let go of the past. Until Derek’s alpha abilities returned, she’d happily stayed with her New Mexico pack and he joined her there. She knew about Kate; all the gory details and she’d apologized and he’d apologized about his part in the fire until she slapped him and told him to stop. She knew about what Jennifer did to him and how Stiles had been the only one who could really snap him out of it. She knew all about everything that happened in Beacon Hills and after, she knew about all the times with Laura so now while she was chopping and getting more and more violent on the head of lettuce she was destroying, he finally reached out and stopped her.

“I’m going to kill him, what a little shit!”

“I was really fucked up too at one point and I made a lot of mistakes and I almost lost you because of them, I lost a lot of people because of it.”

“Don’t you dare make excuses for him, you said no and he didn’t listen.”

“He also didn’t touch me,” Derek said, trying to calm her down.

“He didn’t _need to_ touch you to fuck you up and make you sick.”

“Just promise me you won’t leave and kill him or do bodily harm to him, despite his inability to be a good guy right now, I still care about him and he’s still your friend and Noah’s son.”

Cora groaned dramatically, “Ugh, fine, I won’t go kill him or maim him. Though I don’t think that I can stop myself from yelling at him, especially after he was such a shit to his dad too.”

Derek figured that was the best he was going to get and nodded. They continued to prep food, talking about what they were going to do. Were they going to stay in Beacon Hills or leave again? Derek considered it, like he’d been considering it for a while now. Technically Beacon Hills was his territory and Scott would have to share it or give it up and that didn’t seem like it was going to go well at all, not after Derek bound Noah to him. Scott, in his infinite teenage/young adult wisdom would see that as a threat though he hadn’t even come to talk to him about it. Noah said that Scott had only ever come to see the Sheriff once while he was feral and when the older man didn’t respond to him, Scott just gave up or seemed to.

“Oh Alpha, my Alpha, stop with the deep thoughts otherwise you are going to burn our food,” Jackson snarked as he walked into the kitchen to see how close they were to eating. Derek rolled his eyes, mostly because that was the expected response and added some finishing touches to the food before he grabbed Jackson in a headlock and kissed the top of his head. Ethan howled in laughter as Jackson tried to shake Derek off who only released him when Jackson went limp in his arms.

Jackson stumbled then wiped his head before grabbing plates and utensils, “Gross man, keep the kisses for your sappy human.”

Derek rolled eyes again while they got everything on the table. Dinner was loud and full of stories, things that Noah didn’t know about their travels and Cora’s other pack. Jackson and Ethan told their story about how they met and ended up moving in together in London and Noah listened with the intensity of a father listening to his child’s stories. Derek watched Noah while Noah watched the others and he hoped that Stiles could learn to see this side of his father again. Hopefully he wouldn’t get jealous of the attention the other pack members were getting right now.

It was weird to think that Stiles was so different from the person Derek fell in love with but having been triggered by his actions just proved that he was different, Stiles sought to force his hand with his body and scent instead of honoring Derek’s decision.

Derek hoped that Stiles wasn’t out having sex with someone else right now because he didn’t think he was ever going to find someone else like him.

Kira was a fun guest at the table, she told a bunch of stories about training in the desert and how her mother was coping with the loss of her immortality. Not to mention how Kira was dealing with her immortality kicking in. The elders she trained with said that her aging was already slowing down and now that she had control of the fox spirit within, it wasn’t going to be long before she was even more of a badass.

“Can you turn into a fox?” Noah asked, genuinely wondering as Jackson snickered.

Kira smacked Jackson on the back of the head before she turned back to Noah, “From what I understand Kitsunes used to be born in fox form and in other parts of the world where magic and myths are protected rather than destroyed they still do but my mother lost the ability and because I am further diluted, it will take time and training but I’m getting there.”

“Neat,” Noah said simply.

“Thinking dessert?” Cora asked and she stood up. Everyone nodded and she walked into the kitchen, she was humming and Derek frowned. Cora didn’t hum. There was a small click click of something but she was still humming so he went back to the conversation for a few minutes before it sank in that the humming sounded stationary instead of moving around the kitchen. Derek pushed away from the dinner table and dove for the kitchen door to see no sign of Cora and her phone was playing a recording. The others got up behind him, “Where did Cora go?” Kira asked.

“Probably to kill Stilinski,” Jackson snorted.

“What?” Noah snapped.

“Not you,” Jackson waved off his concern.

“I’m pretty sure he knows that Jackson, you’re still talking about his son,” Ethan explained slowly like his boyfriend was dumb.

Jackson blinked, “Yeah I guess that was stupid of me. She’s not going to kill him.”

“What’s going on here?” Noah demanded.

“Your son and I had a difference of opinion on our situation and it seems that Cora thinks that she has to come to my rescue or something,” Derek said and puffed out a heavy sigh at the life he was currently living and how ridiculous it was on any given day.

“She’s not going to hurt him, is she?” Noah asked.

“No, she promised me that she was just going to yell at him.”

“I’ve heard that girl yell, she might deafen him,” Jackson laughed and Ethan slapped him again for speaking. “Ow! Stop that!”

“Then shut up!” Ethan responded.

Noah was already standing so Derek followed suit, waving off the others. Stiles wasn’t going to want a whole werewolf pack watching this. Noah didn’t seem to be in a head space to not go running off after his son and Derek should be there in case everyone else lost their heads in the fight. Stiles was dumb enough to go off on Cora and Cora was protective enough that she might not consider what she’s doing and Noah is _barely_ in control of his wolf. There is no way he’s going to just let him leave.

“Well let’s go check on him then,” Derek said and grabbed the keys to the Camaro because it would be better to have a vehicle just in case, plus running across town was just going to rile Noah up even more.

Noah sat in the passenger seat, gnawing at his cuticles which apparently was a Stilinski family trait because Stiles did that when he was nervous. Derek just let himself stay calm and filled the space and the bond between them with soothing thoughts and ignored any possibility of anxiety. The calming drive seemed to rub off onto Noah a little by the time they pulled into the driveway and the house was lit up and Derek winced, Cora was already here and she was indeed yelling.

_“…Do you even give a shit that you triggered him so badly that he threw up in your front yard? I know you worked out what happened between him and Kate and you still used scent and manipulation and seduction, the same way she did! What the fuck is wrong with you?”_

Derek turned off the car as Noah got out of the other side and having heard this turned to stare at Derek in surprise, “What?” he whispered.

Cora was still ranting inside, though she must’ve known they were here. Apparently, she was on a roll and decided not to stop, _“Do you have nothing to say? Do you know how much it took for him to come find you and tell you what he wanted? Do you know! Of course not! How could you be so fucking selfish?”_

Derek shook his head then walked up to the front door. Noah shoved him off to the side a little and opened the door, shocking Stiles out of his silence.

“Dad? You’re here?”

“Figured I didn’t want to let Cora kill you,” Noah responded, gesturing to a half-shifted Cora across the room so she was nowhere near hitting distance from the human. Stiles wasn’t saying anything, he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t fighting back and Derek stared at him in confusion.

“Stiles?” he questioned.

“Stiles,” Noah said at the same time, with that parental voice of disapproval that made Derek’s heart clench because he wanted to apologize for this thing, he shouldn’t have slept with Stiles knowing that the other man wasn’t sure about what he wanted beyond sex but knowing from years of counseling that he wasn’t responsible for Stiles’s behavior. Also, sometimes he would have given anything to hear his father disapprove of his life choices because it would mean the man was alive.

“Cora, can you please take Noah back to the Pack House? I think this should be between Stiles and myself. It’s not a pack issue.”

“It is if he is going to fuck up all the hard work you put into your recovery!” Cora responded.

“He’s not, and if it’s that easy to fuck up then maybe I wasn’t as healed as I thought I was. I kind of need to know that for myself. Please, Cora?” he asked gently and she deflated. Her shift melted away and she grabbed the keys for the Camaro and motioned to Noah.

Noah looked back to Stiles, “Don’t disappoint me,” he said to his son and walked right back out again though he was dragging his feet a little.

Stiles took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, crinkling some of the papers that were sitting there. He’d missed the empty space but about seven inches. Derek walked over and pulled a chair to face Stiles before sitting down, needing to be facing him but have enough distance.

“Despite what Cora believes, I didn’t know what happened with Kate or Jennifer but that’s really no excuse for my behavior. I hurt you with my selfishness and I really don’t like this person that I am sometimes. I have a difficult time remembering what it was like, caring about another person’s feelings or anything. All my booty calls know the deal and they get it, they are usually just scratching an itch too but that wasn’t what you wanted and I fucked that up.”

“Yeah,” Derek said, noticing that Stiles didn’t actually say he was sorry. “Honestly Stiles, those sound like reasons not an apology.”

“Fuck!” Stiles said and slapped his head, “That’s valid. I sometimes, ugh, I suck at this. I’m really sorry Derek for what I did early no matter what my reasons or excuses are; my actions really hurt you and I didn’t want that.”

“Thank you for saying that,” Derek paused and thought back to their conversation, “Do you actually mean that?”

“What?”

“That you didn’t want to hurt me?”

“Yeah, for sure, _yes!_ You have absolutely no reason to believe me right now but I was so fucked from the conversation and I just wanted that freedom that fucking has given me in the past especially when I stopped letting it ever be about love. Well, clearly it was the illusion of freedom anyway. I said some incredibly shitty things again and I didn’t mean them. I didn’t call anyone to have sex with, when I saw you in the front lawn, every desire for sex sort of died a pathetic death. I’ve been doing some research since then.”

“Oh?” Derek raised an eyebrow, “This is another one of your coping mechanisms, you know. Doing research instead of feeling, or sleeping or eating or whatever? Not that I’m a doctor or anything but it seems like that anyway.”

“That’s probably a fair point but I was looking into some ways of making sure that we can keep that sort of thing from happening again.”

“Why do you care? I know you said you care about me but clearly you’re not ready to be a partner, especially one to a sexual assault victim.”

“Maybe I could just go back to being the supportive friend again? No sex, no kissing or anything, just hang out with some boundaries for a little while. This might give us both a chance to get to know the new ‘us’, who knows maybe being my friend will just show you that you have no business being with a crazy guy like me.”

Derek leaned forward, “And you are willing to do that? Create a list of agreed upon boundaries for our time together? Something we can live with, then agree to a time to revisit the dating thing.”

Stiles nodded, “You deserve someone who’s going to be good to you Derek and I’m really sorry that we found each other at the wrong time and I keep fucking it up.”

Derek smiled, “Sometimes the timing of life is just off.”

“That’s very wise,” Stiles said and pulled out a notebook and flipped to an unblemished page and Derek scooted his chair closer but not so close that they were going to be touching. He still needed the space for the moment. His heart was still hammering despite the apology and the honest offer that Stiles was willing to give.

“Before we start on this,” Derek said and Stiles hunched like he was waiting to get punched or something, “I am really hoping that you are able to talk things out with your dad, I don’t think he was trying to punish you and he feels as though you are punishing him now and that’s not okay.”

Stiles put the pen down and looked over at Derek, “Yeah apparently lashing out and punishing people for being human is my thing right now. I just don’t know how to deal with the shit in my brain about all this.”

“Honesty?” Derek offered because it was the only thing that had ever worked for him.

“Honesty. I guess that’s better than nothing. Here goes. Honestly,” Stiles took in a huge breath and released it on a stream of words, _“I’mjealousofChrisArgentandyourpack!_ ”

“What?” Derek asked, even his werewolf hearing wasn’t enough to decipher that mess of sounds.

Stiles tried again, “I’m jealous, of you and Argent and Parrish and everyone.”

“That sucks,” Derek nodded, “Being jealous of other people just destroys any goodness you might be able to get in life. It’s poison.”

“Yeah, and I’m green with it,” Stiles said; half serious and half ridiculous.

Derek smirked, “Really?”

“To easy, had to be done but seriously, seeing how I hurt my dad and I hurt you with just my normal behavior towards other people was a bit of a realization. One that I needed but something I am having difficulty swallowing.”

“I’ve had a few of those over the years,” Derek nodded in understanding.

“Your family?” Stiles guessed.

“Mostly that I had been alone for so long that it affected who I was to the point that it affected my leadership abilities with Isaac, Erica and Boyd. I didn’t have the healing I needed to be a good Alpha to them, now I do.”

“That’s a relief since my dad is one of your betas now,” Stiles said.

“Yeah, my sister also wouldn’t have come back if she hadn’t been front row and center to my recovery. I met my counselor while I was with her pack. Jackson didn’t see it first hand but he heard about it over time and when we saw each other again, it was like magnets. He’s one of the only betas I made that is still alive and we didn’t want to separate. We’ve learned a lot from each other.”

“How to be snarky and talk with your eyebrows?” Stiles guessed with a small smile.

“Among other things,” Derek chuckled.

Stiles fell silent for a few minutes, took a deep breath and grabbed a pen, “So what do you think? What should we start with?”

“No sexual contact with each other for at least two weeks,” Derek responded steadily, feeling it was a fair number and a good place to start. Stiles nodded and wrote it down, “I’m supposed to go back to school in about two months but I guess we would have to take that into consideration when we are closer to the actual date?”

Derek nodded, “Like you said, we may both discover that this isn’t going to work for each of us and it has nothing to do with Beacon Hills or New York.”

Stiles nodded, “Maybe after this we should meet either in groups or at a public place? I think this temptation is going to take some work to ignore and being in a place where there are easy fucking locations and being alone is going to be playing with fire.”

“Agreed,” Derek said.

This back and forth went on for another fifteen minutes before they were satisfied with the result, Derek and Stiles shook on it and agreed that many of the boundaries could be up for debate in a couple weeks but the no sexual contact could possibly be extended.

Derek was walking back to the door when he turned and held his hand out so Stiles bounced off of it instead of barreling into Derek, “One more thing.”

“Yeah?” Stiles asked, looking down a little shamefaced.

“I need you to be honest, if you go somewhere else for sex. This isn’t a relationship, its barely a friendship right now but I just need you to be honest about it, don’t hide it from me if you go off with someone else. I will try not to let it affect how I feel about all this but I can’t promise it won’t.”

“Honesty, check,” Stiles nodded.

Derek walked out the front door, catching sight of Noah and Cora sitting in the Camaro about a couple blocks away from the house. He rolled his eyes and walked towards the car. Cora and Noah both got out and rushed over.

“Are you okay?”

“Is Stiles okay?”

Cora and Noah spoke at the same time and he nodded, “Noah, I think it’s maybe time for you to talk to your son. Really talk to him. He’s kind of screwed up right now but he’s willing to be here and hear you. Cora, I’m fine and you are going to drive me home.”

They both nodded, Noah grasping Derek’s shoulder in a comforting squeeze before he trotted back towards his family home. Derek got into the passenger seat and they drove him in silence but this time he wasn’t terrified of a fight and she wasn’t itching to start one.

At least he would have some time to fall _out of love_ with Stiles if that’s where this was heading. There was no guarantees that it would ever work but at least they were communicating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling a little ambivalent about the ability to actually finish this today.


	7. Getting Better A  Little at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter because its the end of the month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had literally no sleep in two days because I have been writing and dealing with life stuff so send love not corrections. When I am rested again, I will come back and edit.

After Cora and Derek left, Stiles and his dad were left on their own so Stiles sat down on the couch and Dad followed suit.

“I’m really sorry about everything Dad,” Stiles started, “I talked to someone today and it just really brought a lot of stuff to the surface but I didn’t really realize how much I was punishing you for something that I had been doing to you too.”

Noah looked at Stiles, “I definitely think that we have both made plenty of mistakes over the years and some of them were for noble reasons and some were not.”

Stiles nodded, couldn’t argue with that. He could be a petty son of a bitch sometimes.

“What do we do?” Stiles asked.

“Stop hiding things from each other, stop punishing each other and maybe start talking to each other?” Dad offered.

“Talking about our feelings huh? Seems like there is going to be a lot of that going around.”

“Not a socially acceptable pastime but if we want to get better I guess we are going to have to give it a try.”

Stiles stood up and opened his arms, “I’m game if you are.”

Noah smiled and pressed into the hug, ending it with some back slapping before they separated and headed to bed. It would be the first time they both slept under the same roof since Stiles came home and he didn’t want to make it weird but Stiles figured he might not have any control of that.

He went upstairs to his bedroom and Dad went to his, after eating like five bowls of cereal. Stiles imagined that he was going to report back to the Pack house and beg for some more protein. It had been a while since Stiles was around a new beta and it seemed like Dad hadn’t gotten used to the caloric intake yet.

And things just kept getting stranger the next day. Scott stopped by with Malia in tow and then he was angry that Stiles didn’t want to hang out with his bro who was dating his ex and turned his father against the man’s will. Stiles wanted to just forgive and forget but when Dad saw Scott, he just left without another word.

Stiles wanted to follow him immediately but couldn’t. He sent Scott on his way and went out to the Hale house to apologize to his dad for being a dick, to apologize again to Cora for hurting her brother and promised that he was going to try to do better for the sake of them all.

They all fell into a rhythm over the next couple of weeks, Stiles spent time on the phone with Dr. Markus and got to know himself again and he got to know Derek with the pack and without the pack. They were never alone in either of their homes, they went out for warm beverages and cold beverages, sometimes sandwiches or pizza.

On one epic ‘date night’ Stiles and Derek went to a used bookstore and just read for hours. Stiles learned that Derek loved the classics but was kind of a sucker for romance novels and they had wild discussions about fantasy and sci-fi worlds. It was so bad that they were kicked out of the bookstore and had to continue the epic debate at a nearby coffee house.

Stiles learned how to live without sex in the short term, feeling all the things he’d been hiding from. He shared with Dr Markus about the deaths of the Nogitsune and Donovan. He told Derek about all the loss and fear that he’d been hiding from for so long.

“I get that.”

Stiles smiled a little, “I guess you probably get it better than most people could. What were your unhealthy coping mechanisms?”

Derek looked around the restaurant they were sitting in, “Cutting people out and isolating myself from Laura. I think to myself now that if there was anything I could have changed; it would have been that I spent every last minute with Laura and actually being present with her instead of being in the past or wondering what she could smell on me. I was never really present with her.”

Stiles nodded, “I think, besides school, this time that I have gotten to spend with you is the first time I have really let myself feel anything.”

“What’s it like?” Derek wondered gently.

“Gets a little easier each day, I think that talking to Dr Markus is helping me get through some of the scary shit we lived through here in town. And some of the triggers and flashbacks have been brain rupturing.”

Derek nodded, “I remember when I first sought counseling, it was really tough. It gets better.”

“Promise?” Stiles asked with a small smile.

Derek nodded.

“So things with my dad are a lot better and I am not picking on Argent every time I see him anymore. We have been getting along famously and I haven’t been an insensitive sex fiend. I think that’s pretty good.”

Derek smiled, “Very good, what’s your point?”

“I just think that we need to talk a little bit about the boundaries. Maybe there is one or two we might reconsider?”

Derek nodded, “I think that could be doable but it’s not going to be sex. You understand that I can’t go that far yet?”

Stiles took a drink from his cup and nodded, “I get that. I promise I won’t push. I was just thinking that maybe before I go back to school for the next semester maybe we could have some alone time together on a couch with some kissing or something? Whatever you think.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Stiles grinned, glad that he had done the crazy thing and called the counselor. If he hadn’t called her, Stiles wouldn’t be on a date with Derek right now and he’d probably be estranged from his father. Most days he still really hated opening up to Dr Markus but he just kept thinking about his father and Derek and figured it was worth the shit of reliving traumas if it meant he got to move on from them.

It was really the first time in years that Stiles actually wanted to move past them.

Falling in love does interesting things to him.

Stiles paused and really thought about that, he had been in love with Derek when they were all younger and Derek was just the tortured Sourwolf but now, it wasn’t the same thing. He didn’t think that he could depend on that feeling to keep him from screwing up, it was too easy for Stiles to fall back on old habits.

It did give him something to work towards though.

They did start inviting displays of affection, holding hands and curling up together while they were watching movies. Even kissing when they definitely weren’t going to get interrupted by the pack or by Stiles’s dad.

The last month before Stiles was supposed to go back to school passed in a blur and he was sitting with Derek at the pack house when he broached the subject, “I know we are still doing the dating slowing thing but I am wondering if you are going to stay here when I go back to school.”

Derek looked at him, “I told you back when I found you in the bar that I was going to be where you are. Cora is probably going to come back with me but I think Jackson and Ethan are planning on staying here, they have really bonded with your dad and even without a present alpha, the bonds are strong and they will be just fine. I mean, if that’s okay with you?”

Stiles nodded, “I only really know that I just started getting to really be with you and I don’t want to make this into a long distance thing if we don’t have to do it. I really care about you Derek and I would really like to keep seeing you.”

Derek nodded, “Then its settled. We will make sure that your dad is doing okay, though with his friendship with Argent and a few others I don’t think he is going to have any problems plus if we can work through what happened, there is still an alpha in town if he needs someone.”

Stiles nodded, they had all been standoffish with Scott but he was willing to forgive and remember if that’s what his dad might need in their absence.

Derek leaned in and pressed a kiss to Stiles’s mouth and they went back to watching the movie.

When it was time for them to go back to New York, Stiles hugged his dad and told him to keep in touch better than they had been doing and they promised. Stiles watched as Derek hugged his pack members before they got into the cab and headed to the airport.

They were settling into their seat on the plane when Derek turned to him with a little smile.

“What?” Stiles asked.

“You think we could go back to the club as a couple this time or do you still need to pretend that you are someone else?”

Stiles smiled, “I can’t imagine a better date, though we are going to have to find you a different outfit, the one you wore last time should be illegal.”

“Oh?” Derek chuckled.

Stiles leaned over and kissed Derek on the lips, “Oh yeah.”

“Well I look forward to your notes.”

“Also, Lydia’s notes,” Stiles responded and Derek chuckled.

“I guess I can live with that too.”

Derek took Stiles’s hand and they let the plane take them back to the other life they were building for themselves and each other. Beacon Hills would be there when they were ready to return, for now there was a much larger world to see. Stiles couldn’t imagine a better partner.


End file.
